F.I.N.E. II Still not doing well... -may trigger-

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Zueri, Feb 7, 2007.

  1. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    Ah...so be it...I'm ranting madly again. Still:

    Freaking out

    I'm cutting deeper and deeper. The blood won't stop...and I can't stop either. I'm losing it. Seth is getting crueler and crueler...I don't know how much longer I can hold on.
    I ODed on caffeine a few more times...and am still messing up people's lives. I make people cry and worry and go to pieces...It makes me feel so bad and worthless.

    I am selfish. I am worthless. I am evil. I have no consideration for anybody else. I don't deserve to live. I should die. But I just can't kill myself. I don't know why...My existence has become extremely painful...and I keep thinking about death. It would solve so many problem...

    I'll I do is hurt people. My attitude, my behavior...no wonder I have virtually no friends.

    -going crazy-

    I WISH I had the guts to kill myself...instead of arguing whether or not heaven/hell exists. I'm a mess. I WISH I was dead...Cupio mortem.
    Yes...I hate life more and more...maybe someday I'll be able to do it...
    I hope so.
    Life sucks.
    Screw it all.
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    How are you doing now? I am sorry I did not see this earlier. I hope you are okay and the thoughts in your mind have subsided.