Ah...so be it...I'm ranting madly again. Still: Freaking out Insecure Neurotic Emotional I'm cutting deeper and deeper. The blood won't stop...and I can't stop either. I'm losing it. Seth is getting crueler and crueler...I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I ODed on caffeine a few more times...and am still messing up people's lives. I make people cry and worry and go to pieces...It makes me feel so bad and worthless. I am selfish. I am worthless. I am evil. I have no consideration for anybody else. I don't deserve to live. I should die. But I just can't kill myself. I don't know why...My existence has become extremely painful...and I keep thinking about death. It would solve so many problem... I'll I do is hurt people. My attitude, my behavior...no wonder I have virtually no friends. -going crazy- I WISH I had the guts to kill myself...instead of arguing whether or not heaven/hell exists. I'm a mess. I WISH I was dead...Cupio mortem. Yes...I hate life more and more...maybe someday I'll be able to do it... I hope so. Life sucks. Screw it all.