F***ING WASTE OF TIME warning swearing blah blah blah

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by beans, Sep 14, 2006.

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  1. beans

    beans Guest

    THere's no fucking point in anything is there, i mean for fucks sake, trying to explain oneself, trying to get YOUR POINT across, trying to get someone to JUST BE REASONABLE. NO FUCKING POINT.
    Life, is so utterly pointless. I fucking give up.
    I am 100% serious, I am going to kill myself. I don't want to hang around, I want to do it soon. I hope I manage it.
    Jesus christ what a complete waste of time.
     
  2. beans

    beans Guest

    And just in case someone actually gives a toss, here's why I don't want to live:

    I will have to do a job I detest, with people who I cannot relate to (at best) or loathe (at worst). I will be doing this job for the next 40 fucking years of my life. And then I will retire and be struck dumb because I don't have any work to do and I no longer know what to do with myself.

    I will (at best again) end up marrying some girl, having kids, getting divorced and watching them grow into screwed up people like me. I won't be happy in a relationship, ever. Love does not exist, marriage is a construct of modern capitalism designed to keep everything in our stupid sodding societies working 'smoothly'. How can any rational person actually believe in love?? I mean COME ON. Soulmates = bullshit. Uniqueness = bullshit.

    Other than these two things, there is not much else that matters in life, is there? Friendship could be one thing but you know what? No one gets me. No one is really interested in what I am interested in, no one gives a shit, and I hardly care anymore either.

    So there it is, laid out like a pig on the butcher's table.

    Life, get stuffed.
     
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2006
  3. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Dear Beans;

    You must really be going thru some bad times from the frustration in your rant.:sad: I'm sorry I can't 'make' things better for you, but I do know that if you die there is NO chance that things can ever become better, but if you choose to live, there is always a possibility of improvement.:smile: Even if you can't see any such possibility. I hope you come back here often to vent and scream and release your feelings so they wont implode inside you, doing great damage.

    I send hope that things improve for you in the near future. All the best.

    least

    PS; I personally don't believe suicide solves anything, and I say that as one who contemplates the idea at least once a day.:rolleyes: I THINK about it a lot, I'm just not prepared to DO it.
     
  4. TearsDropBloodTrickles

    TearsDropBloodTrickles Well-Known Member

    Life is pointless but that doesnt mean it must remain pointless, you can put the point into life. Without getting too philosophical, we exist (lets just take that as fact) but how we exist is completely subjective. Fair enough their are imposed restrictions on this, council tax, money for nessecities etc etc.

    You say you have to do this job, and you have to do it for the next 40 years, your actively deciding that, you dont have to. Maybe for now you do, but if along side it you are working on a change, then havent you given life a point. Not choosing to change anything, is the same as choosing to keep everything the same.

    You said love doesnt exist. Well it does and it doesnt. Once again its purely subjective. Love is different to everyone. I agree the portrayal of love is never the same as the real thing, but it doesnt deny its existence, it only means you havent recognised it, in the form you've imagined it. I know love, and i've felt love. But i dont believe in 'true love', because my 'true love' with be in the shape of perfection, this doesnt exist, im aware of that, so for me 'true love' doesnt exist.

    I'm guilty of this just as much as you, posting on this site and finishing the post with 'I dont care', I know that admitting you care is harder than facing the problems itself, but its the first step. I hope my post will atleast make you think twice, I understand death seems so attractive, but if we really didnt want to live we both wouldnt be on this site. If you ever wanna talk let me know!

    Kp. x
     
  5. beans

    beans Guest

    Thank you both of you for replying.
    Least, that was a very caring post, I appreciate it.
    Tears, that was quite intelligent, how old are you?
    I do think about some of that, but one thing:
    I wouldn't be on this site if I didn't want to live?
    I live because of these reasons:
    Dumb instinct.
    Blind hope.
    Guilt.
    Great reasons or what.
     
  6. TearsDropBloodTrickles

    TearsDropBloodTrickles Well-Known Member

    Im 18...and those reasons arent any worse than anyone elses, in my opinion most people live because they are alive, and nothing more. Thats why i get so depressed, bcos i dont want to live for the sake of living...and guilt ? Yeah, my bestfriend lays that one on me all the time... Just do what i do, Sigh and withdraw from reality. Wait, *thinks* Maybe thats not such a good idea...
     
  7. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Glad you're living for whatever reasons.:smile: Keep on keepin' on.:wink:

    love,

    least

    PS; I am NOT 18 - far from it:rolleyes: but remember clearly what it was like - ugh!:sad:
     
  8. beans

    beans Guest

    I'm not 18 either. And I clearly remember what it was like. Even worse than this.
    Thanks again Least, you are a nice person.
     
  9. beans

    beans Guest

    Perhaps life is just about accepting that you are just living for the sake of living. There is nothing else..
     
  10. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Beans;

    I have a deep and abiding faith in my Maker, by whatever name He is called. I believe there is a purpose in my being here at this time in this place, I just don't know what my purpose is. But I'll keep on going, even when things get really awful, until I know why I'm here.

    much love to you, Beans! I hope you keep coming back here. We're a good lot, we are, and can offer much friendship, love, support, and compassion.

    love,

    least
     
  11. TearsDropBloodTrickles

    TearsDropBloodTrickles Well-Known Member

    Not to play devils advocate or offend you in anyway least, but isnt living blind exactly the same as living for the sake of living. Living in hope that the truth will be revealed, what if it isnt ?

    If not anything else atleast humans are very interesting...
     
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