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f it

#5
thanks, there's nothing anyone can do. it's up to me to handle. I'm really trying, it seems I end up with the same conclusion. I'm scared. if I don't succeed? if I just can't go through.. and how? I'm just thinking out loud. everything going on with myself, within myself and what's going on in the world is a lot. but I'm torn as I know so many living through awful situations and events. I keep coming to the same conclusion however. excuse me if this doesn't really make sense.
 

Bergerac

Lost are only those who abandon themselves
#7
Hope the strength is given to you, from some quarter, to help you pass through this time (depending upon the issue, obviously) and allow you at least the chance of some happiness.

When and if the moment comes that you'd like to open-up further, we're all here for you and will do our best to listen/assist you.
 
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MisterBGone

Well-Known Member
#8
The world is a very unsettling & disturbing place to be—(and Live: right now; ...but!)_~*•>// -it doesn’t have to yield such disastrous consequences within us, and or our surroundings (that which we can control!). :^) we care greatly about you, as you can see... You have been a very valuable member of this community for years. Years! I can’t thank you enough for your countless contributions to me directly / personally, over-the-years : (plus, I do know that we both happen to respect & admire some of the same members / people ; so , I suppose we’ve got the similar taste in good folk vibe goin’ on!)— anyway, hope you re doing okay! And don’t let this pandemic stuff get to you. It’s basically driving the best of us bat 🦇 shat crazy.!?;) so, don’t worry 😉 & hopefully normality will resume in shorter order than can be expected or anticipated in the grand scheme of things... in short — you are needed! And not just here... :^) please take care of yourself-
 

MichaelKay

Well-Known Member
#9
I fucked up suicide once, was delusional for 3 days, strapped down and got out. I had to read in my medical journal what had happened because I had no memory of it. So all I know is what is written in my medical journal.

It sort of taught me that I don't really want to die. I just want to stop suffering. But death is final. There's no more experience to gain. So instead I accepted my situation, cut off ties with people I knew I couldn't find the time for and didn't wanna feel guilty pretending I had to be there for them when I couldn't etc. Downsize my life to an extreme extent. And just focus on what I can do. I can have experiences no matter what. And yeah, it might not be the experience of getting that promotion or buying a new house but I get to pet porcupines during night-time and see foxes wander around the city streets.

Those are my experiences and I dream of having the same kind of experiences as other do, love, marriage, success, kids, monetary wealth etc. But I can find peace in the fact that I'm getting an experience at times most would be without. And I know death doesn't give me any more experiences. So I keep living because there's not much else to do really (imo).

I hope you get past this and start to feel better. Just remember; Things like these are rarely chronical and do pass. It's why it's so important to always just keep going and postpone that final decision. Because it might be a brighter day tomorrow or next week. Depressions do go away, we don't cure it, it comes and goes like the cold, but they do.

I hope you hang in there. Vent in here if you need to. Seek understanding and encouragement here if necessary. Because people can and do beat this. And I really hope you can too.

Stay safe
 
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Lekatt

Love Cats Love All
SF Supporter
#13
thanks, there's nothing anyone can do. it's up to me to handle. I'm really trying, it seems I end up with the same conclusion. I'm scared. if I don't succeed? if I just can't go through.. and how? I'm just thinking out loud. everything going on with myself, within myself and what's going on in the world is a lot. but I'm torn as I know so many living through awful situations and events. I keep coming to the same conclusion however. excuse me if this doesn't really make sense.
You have the correct answer, but what to do? We live in very troubled times. People are just not thinking things through well. They are being torn by the divisiveness of our broken society. But now, more than ever, is the time to follow your heart. Love knows truth and can lead you to it. If you are looking for ways and means, check my signature links. Love and God Bless.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#15
Your life is worth fighting for, it just might be hard to see that right now, I know you are talented and have a lot to offer the world but you have to start by caring for yourself in the healthiest way possible, do little things each day to make that day more bearable, for example; don't watch the news for 24 hours or a week or whatever you think would help you heal and feel happier. Sometimes words just ain't enough but as I said keep fighting and start on the inside and you'll blossom. *hug
 

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