f*** you, you hear what you want to hear

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by morning rush, Mar 15, 2014.

  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I am so pissed right now. On another forum we have walls to post comments and pics and this one person who's a friend on there (although I don't really know her) is posting pics of animals being abused. So I suggested that those pictures were promoting abuse not really helping. So I said that maybe if she posted links to petitions and shelters for animals to help that this would be more helpful and also if she could show success stories of animals who had been abused and saved it could help more than looking at those horrible pics....

    well she responded saying that she hated people like me who turned their back on the problem just because a picture is sad or downright disturbing and I'm ignoring reality...and that she didn't really care what I had to say...and how she was doing that for these lost souls who needs us and can't speak for themselves.

    this is NOT what I said at all. She wants to help out and I simply suggested ways to help...but apparently that went over her head...this is the last time I even try to have an intelligent convo with someone like that...

    I'm hurt, pissed and now I think that isolating myself from people is the best thing to do...just keep my mouth shut and don't meddle...not even to help...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOU HUN did the right thing telling her what you did YOU are looking after the welfare of the people who could be harmed by such pictures The violence is not necessary to be pushed onto others that is harmful and i am glad you spoke up to her even though that person did not listen you tried hugs
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    it is not you with a problem, it is her - I love your Einstein quote btw. Information about any abuse that goes on does not need to be deliberately graphic - it has the opposite effect to any intended kindness because it makes others feel so powerless and from there to lose interest in even wanting to help. And if she says that she "hates people like you" - that confirms where the problem lies.
  4. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure if I'd make any sense with this, but aren't people entitled to their own views and opinions? We may not agree with a lot of things (and it sounds like a case of that here), yet I can see why the attitude may have come back to you - it's possibly just a misunderstanding over intention. 2 different approaches, clashing. Chalk and Cheese (or something like that).
  5. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    You should have reported her to site admin Morning Rush - she obviously thinks she is not doing anything wrong but if she refuses to accept friendly advice from you or anyone else then she should be advised by admin (I have been advised on inappropriate comment I have posted on this site; albeit with good intentions)
  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Morning rush, you didn't turn your back away from the problem. She sounds like someone who doesn't like to hear what others might say.

    I like your suggestions for promoting the cause with links to petitions and shelters. Those are far more effective and practical in terms of changing the situation. Pics of abused animals are sensationalist in nature and very upsetting for many - they can be more detrimental than helpful. It's sad this person has taken the stand she has taken. Perhaps she herself was not aware of animal abuse until she saw real pics, and so she thinks that's the most effective method to get people involved. But when such pics are so triggering and distressing to others, they can take away from the what she's hoping to do - draw people's interest in helping.

    As suggested above, maybe report her for posting nasty images. At least the site might have her note in the title/subject that the images could be very triggering.

    You are not the problem here, morning rush. Her insensitivity to other people is the problem (even if her intention is to increase awareness of and action to stop a bad situation). She has other options for doing that - you mentioned them to her. I guess she thinks the shock factor has more drawing power. I would think that as an animal lover, she would not want to look at those pics again and again herself. There is no explaining some people. I believe you are right and she is misguided.

    I truly hope YOU do not isolate yourself and avoid involvement because of this one misguided person is rigid and accusatory. Your voice and ideas are valid and important. She just happens to be stuck in her own self-importance and she lashed out at you because you suggested alternatives - probably BETTER ONES - to the way she does things.

    Be strong in yourself, hun! :arms:
  7. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hummm so she was posting photos of the problem. You suggested posting links for the solution and she attacked you?

    Is it possible that she may be projecting her own history on the animal's story of abuse. And also your response. Is it possible that she holds deep hurt and even anger that people turn their backs on her when she was being abused and wanted people to see? And therefore she attacked you for your response without even being able to see what you were REALLY saying? I dont know. Regardless, i feel your suggestion was totally on target and correct. It would hurt me way too much to see those photos without being able to take an action to help put a stop to it.