I can't get ahead. I will never get ahead. GOD DAMN Disabilty because my husband got a bonus I now have an over payment and have to pay it back. Because my husband got paid three times this month I have an over payment and have to pay it back. They didn't even give me enough to cover my F-ing rent I pay to my inlaws. I am so sick of this shit. I can't work because I can't hold down a job for more then a month or two. Disability decided I was a disabiled person. But because my husband works. I keep getting f-ing screwed. If I left my husband and was on my own my rent would be covered plus I would get almost 1200. But no because I am trying to save my f-ing marriage and have a home for our daughter. I guess if he quit his f-ing job and we moved into social housing that would be better. I can't deal with this crap. I CAN'T DEAL with trying to sort my f-ing head out that is a mess because of 13 years of F-ing abuse. And f-ing ptsd,did,ocd etc, and deal with trying to make sure all the f-ing bills get paid. I am farther ahead if I WAS DEAD. I am on the verge of falling to pieces, and just getting it over with. Plus it may not be such a big deal to some people but I have to quit smoking because we can't afford it. I have no other vices. I don't drink, I don't do drugs. I burn and cut. And we both have to quit smoking at the same f-ing time. I swear my stress level is so threw the roof right now. All I want to do is cut and burn. If I have to quit smoking and have nothing else to relieve the tension and stress besides cutting and burning I am going to be a right f-ing mess. WHY CAN'T I JUST GET AHEAD??????????????? I can't even afford to take my dog to the vet for his check up and shots. What am I supposed to do get rid of the only thing I know that loves me for sure, and my only comfort. I am so tired of always being in this spot. Oh and then mother inlaw goes. Well I guess you'll have to quit smoking and start giving me money for grocries etc. etc. The money she gets for us living here was supposed to cover all that shit.With the past f-ing week I have had and now this. I wish I had never been f-ing born.