You know these days I wonder why I even bother writing stuff on the net? Other than typing is so much easier for me than writing. I mean really it is not just here. It is everywhere, no one seems to give two shits that I am even alive. When I post here I get nothing it does not matter what I do or say. I guess I am just beyond help. I do not know what I am doing wrong anymore. I guess I am not threatening to kill myself good enough. Everyone here knows that I am not going to kill myself. I guess time needs to be spent on other people. Not someone like me who just wants to talk to get input or feedback or something. Granted everyone will tell me that I am just not listening or trying. I guess that is the good part about the net. people can just give up on me. It is not like this is the only place either. Fuck I open up a facebook account after years of family and online friends begging me to. However, since I do not spam with pictures. No one seems to give a shit that I am even here. I am lucky if I even get a like these days. Not that I put a lot of effort I do not post very often and like I said I do not spam like everyone else I know does. I also do not add every twit I can. So I guess it is no surprise I am as ambient as ever. Fuck I bet the only time my facebook account will get any attention is once I die. Then there is the family communication. Thing, the only person who wants to talk to me is my mom. You know what I do not really like my mom and do not really give a shit. She is not a down to earth person and I am not wanting to waste my time on her vain effort to rekindle a worth while relationship. Not like she did not waste my entire childhood taking care of my sisters. Now she realizes that there was nothing between us. Not that I am going to say much. She has always been paranoid and controlling and I want nothing to do with that. Plus the one family member I tried to open up too is too busy for me. I guess that is life though. I am not worth the 20 to 30 minutes it takes to write an email. I am not worth the brain power either. After all, god forbid I actually have emotional problems or anything other than a narcissistic view on life. Oh well.. at least now I might be able to sleep.