I attempted to overdose for the first time yesterday. I had a bottle of klonopin lined up perfectly, every pill in a straight row, but after six I was interrupted. I'm at one of the roughest points of my life that I think I've ever been- the past year has been horrible, the depression makes it so hard to get through the day, I was broken up with and have been insulted and ridiculed by the man that dumped me, and I possibly have multiple sclerosis, but don't find out for another month.
All of that leads up to my question, my confusion. From what I've gathered, treatment facilities typically focus on substance abuse and eating disorders. While I have suffered from ED-NOS for four years, it's only started recurring again lately. But I want to go to a facility. I want to be sent somewhere where my sole goal is to heal and be taken care of until I'm able to get somewhat better.
I feel so embarrassed about this desire though. People never seem to WANT to go to places like that, and yet I want nothing more than an environment where everything is controlled for me. What is going on with me? Where is this desire coming from? Has anyone else wanted this? And where could I go where they would admit me for depression or anxiety? My ED isn't bad enough to be admitted for that.
All of that leads up to my question, my confusion. From what I've gathered, treatment facilities typically focus on substance abuse and eating disorders. While I have suffered from ED-NOS for four years, it's only started recurring again lately. But I want to go to a facility. I want to be sent somewhere where my sole goal is to heal and be taken care of until I'm able to get somewhat better.
I feel so embarrassed about this desire though. People never seem to WANT to go to places like that, and yet I want nothing more than an environment where everything is controlled for me. What is going on with me? Where is this desire coming from? Has anyone else wanted this? And where could I go where they would admit me for depression or anxiety? My ED isn't bad enough to be admitted for that.