I've never been very good at facing any hardships. I'm an oversensitive guy that's lost and alone. I take everything to heart even if people are just poking fun at me. I'm able to mask how I feel during the time of a negative encounter then I end up repressing it until the night time where everything comes out and piles up to make me hate myself and want to end it all. I've been on medication for a few months now but the urge to end my life creeps up often. I feel as if I'm a burden to people and feel like I need to face this all on my own and just somehow magically be mentally tough but I cannot do it. I need help and I've worked up the courage to ask for it a couple times only to be shot down by someone who says it can't be that bad. I've only told the doctor I've had suicidal thoughts I think it would ruin my parents if I told them. I'm trying to hang on and I'm looking for a purpose in my life. I feel as if I amount to nothing and have a void to fill. I want to do something great but I always bring myself back down with negativity and an "I will never amount to anything" attitude. I need some friends desperately. Thanks for reading.