Facing reality hurts

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by TBear, Mar 10, 2010.

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  1. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    For so long I convinced myself that I had a good marriage, nice childhood...
    I know that there were difficulties - part of me held the pain, I fooled myself - walled it away....because it hurts to accept

    Delusions dissipate slowly
    Fantasy existence gone
    Grey numbness turned to black pain
    utter darkness that stifles every breath
    What is left?
    Devastation and desperation
    spiraling again, disoriented
    cycle after cycle
    Pain, denial, death of hope
    the stillness
    place of utter solitude that no one can go to for me
    I've been here before
    loss, absence, emptiness
    permanence of death
    death of dreams never to be dreamed
    hopes that will never exist
    a black hole where love should have been
    nothingness which clears the way
    allowing reality to take its place
    only then can the void be filled
    why must anyone feel such pain?

    I want this deep emotional pain to end -
    I want to die, but something won't let me
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I know this place to well the pain so deep so dark i too want to leave but can't too many others will suffer my pain I hope your love ones hold onto you tight and never let you go You are too important to them all your strength guides them and teaches them that no matter what there is a way. I am glad to see you are able to post about all the darkness as it help others like me know we are not alone and i hope you know you can reach out anytime and i will be there okay stay strong for you and for your children don't staythe victim don't let them win never okay stay the fighter get angry and stay the fighter
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