A few months ago, I was having suicide thoughts. I did a few attempts by overdoing myself. With the help of my therapist, my life got better, and I did not have any such thoughts. I still went for my sessions, and I remember sharing with my counselor, how good I felt about life. A few weeks ago, I started to have suicide thoughts again, even though I do not feel depressed. I felt more lonely and I could not really take it. I do not have the courage to tell my counselor that I am having suicide thoughts again, in which I do not want her to think I am seeking attention or something else. Worse, if she gave up on me.
I worry about the same thing; but my therapist recognizes that I am seriously thinking such thoughts on a recurring basis and works with me on them. So I don't think the therapist would give up on you. You can talk here but it is best to get professional help when you need it. The therapist would work with you.
do you think you could print out what you just wrote here to show to your therapist? Because healing comes in levels or layers. at a certain point symptoms may reappear because it is time to work on a new level of the same thing. This is extremely common. It may seem like a relapse. But in fact its a new layer of the same problem coming up because its time to work on it. I would hate to see you deprive yourself of the next level of your healing.
I hear you! I have a therpist who just reduced our sessions and its like sent me into a tailspin. I have been calling into work because all I do is sit here and thinkg about ending it all and how I am going to do it!