Am beging to fall and fail . I didnt cut for 2 weeks and then i go and cut because i couldnt hold on any more am 12 days clean from taking drugs and drink but it feels like i should back to 0 because i cut. I was in a Narcotics Anonymous chat room and they said that cutting makes it back to 0 so i have just fucked up majorly there then. My husband gone out to do some stuff in town and am alone there are pills here and i want to take them all. Should i call him ? should i get help i don't devise it at all. Want blood want pain I cant watch a gorey movie or draw on myself as it triggers me more and i dont have ice cubes and a rubber band at all to ping all there is, is razor blades and pills what to do ?