fail

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_Lily_

Forum Buddy
#1
Am beging to fall and fail .
I didnt cut for 2 weeks and then i go and cut because i couldnt hold on any more am 12 days clean from taking drugs and drink but it feels like i should back to 0 because i cut.
I was in a Narcotics Anonymous chat room and they said that cutting makes it back to 0 so i have just fucked up majorly there then.
My husband gone out to do some stuff in town and am alone there are pills here and i want to take them all.
Should i call him ? should i get help i don't devise it at all.
Want blood want pain
I cant watch a gorey movie or draw on myself as it triggers me more and i dont have ice cubes and a rubber band at all to ping
all there is, is razor blades and pills
what to do ?
 

Speedy

Staff Alumni
#2
If you think your husband will be supportive and talk you through what you are thinking, I would consider calling him. With that said, getting help whichever way possible ASAP is your #1 priority since you feel like SHing and taking pills. :hugtackles:
 

_Lily_

Forum Buddy
#3
I called my husband he is normally supportive he was more interested that his new headphones will get nicked than me wanting to take pills or it seemed that way.
Fuck it am going to take them .
 

Speedy

Staff Alumni
#4
Can you make or obtain some ice cubes or borrow some rubber bands from someone else? You can call some hotlines to talk to other people or even the nearby hospital or crisis center.
 

_Lily_

Forum Buddy
#5
There is no one we can get them from and we don't know my neighbor well to ask
Ella's husband is back and he talked to us for a little while , we feel a bit better now but still want to cut
we just have to focus on other things
 
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