I just can not stand me. After 7 months of not working, I finally get a job, just as a temp, but work. I couldn't even do it. Not the job, I couldn't even bring myself to go into the shop to do the job. How can I be afraid to work, to even make the attempt, sitting outside in the lot in complete terror of even going in to work . I am just so tried of myself, I am truly amazed at how pathetic I am. I should know better by now. Why this surprises me or thinking that i may begin to live "normally" idk. I have personal support, depression meds, weekly therapy, suicidal thoughts have been mainly dissipating, when will I get my shit together. What more do I need, this has got to be me, just pathetic worthless me. I am so very angry with myself, I just can not stand me. This is all my fault.