So i failed at it again last night and i have been sent home, but i still want to keep trying till i succeed i cant be around here anymore! Nobody wants to know me it would even make a diffrence if i did go!! Im a crap person a crap friend a crap daughter a crap mother a crap partner!! Why for once cant i have one thing that i want, why cant i have peace and warmth that i know i can only find in eternal sleep now!! Why after all these years of pain and hurt cant i have this one thing granted to me, i have been put through all of this and i have tried to fight on but now i am out of fight and i cant even have this one wish granted!!! why???