you could say it was a small victory, but i suppose victory vs. failure is more relative than people think.
while i think it would be wildly hypocritical of me to dispense advice, maybe i can try and relate to you
my father was released from prison when i was 16. my mother, having a midlife crisis, decided she wanted her life back and forced me to move in with him. things were okay, but when he got a girlfriend, he spent all his time and money drinking with her. i voiced my displeasure with this for about a week, and one day i came home from school to find my father had taken all his clothes/personal items and left. i lived in the apartment by myself until the utilities were shut off.
i moved back in with my mother, and decided to kill myself. i tied an extension cord to a closet pole, and tried to hang myself. i choked until i passed out. i woke up hours later to find that the wooden closet pole had broken under my weight after i passed out, and relieved the pressure around my neck. i thought it was failure, but i grew to learn that it was more a victory
even with my life in shambles, im still happy i didnt die back then. it took me a long time to realize that, even though im currently suicidal, i didnt want to go that way. i hope that you can come to this kind of realization too. surviving a serious suicide attempt is a harsh means of changing your outlook on suicide