Failed and then 4 weeks in Hospital :(

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by poodle, Feb 27, 2009.

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  1. poodle

    poodle Member

    I tried to kill myself. < Mod edit Hazel: Methods > For various reasons it didn't work.

    I confessed the next morning to the crisis team nurse who came to visit me and it was decided that I should go into hospital voluntarily.

    four weeks followed in the mental health unit of being checked on every 15 minutes.

    I got granted home leave on Monday by the consultant. I have to go back to hospital on Monday next week to be discharged.

    I'm not cured. I don't think I ever will be. I think I'm destined to kill myself.

    I am not glad to be alive
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 28, 2009
  2. xxicedragonxx

    xxicedragonxx Well-Known Member

    hospitals never help... i dont think so at least...

    you have to help yourself if you really want to be "cured" and the problem with depression is that you cant help yourself.

    we all get stuck sometimes... keep your chin up... things always get better. you may not be glad to be alive now, but think of all the good that could be one day that you will miss... it is worth it to stick it out... no one knows what the future will bring.
  3. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I have tried that method too, twice and it didn't work. I think once I nearly lost consciousness, I felt sick, but then changed my mind. I didn't tell anyone until much later.

    But I donated blood the next day, so i hope I didn't harm anyone with my donation.
  4. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    hi poodle.

    I'm sorry to hear you're struggling.

    Sometimes it helps to talk. Why are you feeling suicidal?
    There are plenty of us here who can understand your pain and want to help. We are here for you.

    Hope this helps.
    Kind regards,
  5. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    I think that anything which isn't quick or irreversible is bound to fail tbh... that sodding survival instinct is so strong that you can't help but 'change your mind'. It's a bugger!
  6. poodle

    poodle Member

    I don't handle stress well (who does?) and various things were piling up on me and stressing me and triggering off a crisis (am borderline personality disorder and depression).

    Looking back I was definitely 'unhinged'.

    Last night had thoughts of trying again. But phoned for help instead.

    Am tired. Just want to hide in bed all day and night.

    don't want to exist.
  7. tgm

    tgm New Member

    It has been my experience that you need to find a program that has a number of people in it that have the same sort of issues that you are facing. It could be anything from a full residential program to self help groups. It's certainly going to be difficult to relate to people in a group if no one there has any experience dealing with suicidal feelings (as an example). I'm sure that you have other issues that you need to be able to relate as well.
  8. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Main lesson: make it count.
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