Failed at therapy

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by IceStorm, Sep 3, 2014.

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  1. IceStorm

    IceStorm Active Member

    I am not good at therapy as I find it really hard to talk, but I had been seeing a therapist for about a year. I had told her that I had been abused as a child but not talked about it, she did not want to as she said I was too low. Eventually, I went on medication and my mood got better but she still did not want to talk about it as she said my mood was so much better now I probably didn't need therapy. My husband was diagnosed with cancer and I canceled an appointment as it was too soon after his surgery. My therapist sent me a bill and said to make a closing therapy appointment. I didn't make the appointment and apart from paying the bill I have not had any contact with her. I know I was frustrating because I find it so difficult to talk, especially when I am really depressed. I need to deal with this stuff but I am too worried I will fail at therapy again. I don't know what to do now.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Look for a therapist that deals with trauma ok one that can help you talk and one that will build up trust does not seem like this other therapist knew how to help you to heal
    It was your therapist that failed not you hun
     
  3. DMBMom

    DMBMom Member

    That sounds so weird. I mean, too low to talk about trauma? I'm no therapist, but I've been a patient and the only option to talking about it is to let it fester. It's a burden you need to get off of your shoulders.

    I would fight her on the bill, even though you've already paid it. A cancer diagnosis is huge (and I'm sorry to hear that.) Heaven knows therapists cancel appointments for all kinds of reasons. Maybe she doesn't know you're on a suicide forum, but those of us who joined are obviously struggling. I don't know you, and maybe fighting the bill would be stressful but I also think it could be cathartic. Something you can use to take some control. Not to mention you're in the right.

    After having lived with a narcissist for several years - an unbelievably horrible time in my life - I sought therapy. I went in and cried and gushed everything that bothered me about this ended relationship. The therapist told me I had PTSD and needed intensive therapy. I was in a bad way at the time and was staying up late, sleeping in (after getting up to send my kids off to school.) I missed an appointment and she dumped me as a patient.

    Now, I work in the medical field, and I know that missed appointments are troublesome to offices and they can be costly. People blow off appointments all the time, generally because they're routine. But in our case, missing an appointment is part of what's going on with us. Actually, you didn't miss your appointment because you didn't feel like going, necessarily, and you did call and cancel and you had a very justifiable reason. Dumping patients with emotional issues has got to be some violation of the Hippocratic Oath.

    I like the post by total eclipse. Heed that advice. And fight her!
     
  4. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I totally agree with total eclipse. It sounds like your therapist failed you as it sounds like she really didn't have a clue on how to help you. I would also suggest finding a therapist that deals with trauma and PTSD a they are the specialists in that area and will be able to help you start to heal.
     
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    It's definitely the therapist who has failed and not you!
    I spent 6 months with my first therapist and it was a total waste of time. He even agreed with me that he had been little to no use.
    My second therapist was wonderful and we were able to work through my childhood abuse.
    So don't give up, there is the right therapist out there.
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi hun, all therapists can specialize in different things, from what you said I gather that she didn't actually know how to help. So you did NOT fail. Find another therapist hun :hug: You will get well and over this-it just may take time, hang in there xx
     
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