Failed Attempt

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kitai16, Jan 7, 2008.

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  1. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    I tried to overdose on some pills, but I'm still here (it's been about 3/4 days).

    How many do I need to take and in how quick a time for me to actually succeed?

    Also, is it better to take some and then wait a few minutes before taking more, so that you don't throw them up? Or is that just gonna stop you from killing yourself?

    I need honest answers here, please. I'm not here for sympathy or anything like that. I just wanna find out some information and I figured some people in here might understand.

    If no one wants to post in here about it then feel free to PM me.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2008
  2. Daze&Confused

    Daze&Confused Antiquitie's Friend

    This is a pro life forum. We are here to help, but not in that way.
    Do you have anyone that you can talk to?
  3. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    I understand, which is why I said if nobody wants to post about it in here they can PM me. I don't wanna get anyone in trouble.

    I do completely understand you, but I'm going to do this with or without anyone's help. I just wanted to know the best and most effective way and I came on here coz nobody I know is here so I won't have the whole "attention seeking" accusations, or any of my friends phoining an ambulance I don't want.
  4. bunny

    bunny Staff Alumni

    no one here will help you hurt yourself, even through PM. we are here to support you, in hope you will feel better and get past these feelings by talking to peers who have felt the same, maybe even making so new friends. i hope you stick around and feel better soon :hug:
  5. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    Thanks, but I don't want to stay in this world anymore. The one thing keeping me here is gone and I absolutely hate myself. I have thought about this more than just now, so it's not something rash or anything like that.
  6. Daze&Confused

    Daze&Confused Antiquitie's Friend

    I don't have all the answers, but i'm a good listener. I do understand how lost you feel, i feel the same. Even today i went for a walk and planned where to hang myself. I'm not sure what to do but i manage one day at a time. I'm new here but i've found talking on forums helps. If you want to chat i'm usually lurking around the board.
  7. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the offer.

    I have tried with pills before and am trying again. I'm sure if they don't kill me right away I'll be able to damage my liver enough to kill me sometime soon.

    I actually thought about and had a dream about running infront of cars, etc. But I don't wanna have someone done for murder or something when it wasn't their fault at all. And if I miss then the other cars around will all slow down and someone might even take me away which'll just ruin my attempt.
  8. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry if I've desturbed anyone on here. I just needed a place to ask questions and let-out what I'm feeling and doing without worrying any of my friends or having them interfer. I know they'd only mean well, and I love them to bits, but I don't wanna be "saved" by one of them phoning an ambulance or something like that.

    I also don't wanna be accused of "crying wolf". I've had before when I posted somewhere I thought I could trust, and the attempt didn't go my way and it just made me more determind and pissed me right off that people can be so stupid.
  9. Perishable

    Perishable Well-Known Member

    Have you ever considered the fact that the attempts have not gone your way for a reason?:blink:
  10. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I suck at trying to kill myself too. I can't even do that right.

    I'm rubbish at taking pills anyways, so it's hard for me, but it'll be worth it in the end.
  11. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    I hadn't posted on this board in ages coz I was happy with life. I mean, I still had and have depression, but I had something to really keep me going. Now it's lost and it's my own fault.
  12. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    Sorry for spamming my own thread. I just wondered if anyone knew the signs ODing was actually working? I've lost count of the pills I've taken and I'm still here!!
  13. music_addict

    music_addict Well-Known Member

    did the pills you took have acetaminophen in them? (Alot of OTC drugs do) If so then, in high enough doses, it could have killed your liver. you wouldnt actually notice anything until a few days afterwards. Then you will rapidly start to get sicker and sicker because of the toxins building up in your body because of your livers inability to filter anything. This is an extremely lethal condition requiring an immediate liver transplant.
    Thats the only thing i can really think of (liver damage) that could be lethal even a few days after the actual OD itself.

    edit: wait... are you in the process of overdosing right now? are were you talking about previous attempts?
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2008
  14. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member


    Yeah, I know about the liver and heard it's a pretty painful way to go. But I deserve all the pain I get.
  15. Jyaku

    Jyaku New Member

    You do not want to do this, no one does. I used to want to do it, but my friends helped me through, showed me what I meant to them. I know you may think your reason is justified, but believe me, there is no reason good enough to take your own life.

    Your attempts have been failing because it is not your time to go, that's why I never went through with it. I knew, deep down, that I had things to live for, as everyone does, including you.

    Not only do you have things to live for, but have you thought of how your suicide would affect those that love you? They would be devastated to lose a friend. I bet some of them consider you a very close friend. Your friends are the most important things in your life, they will be there for you and will do anything for you, no matter what you say or do. Whatever your reason is, talk to them about it, let them help you, don't push them away.
  16. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your kind words, but they're really better-off without me.
  17. Daze&Confused

    Daze&Confused Antiquitie's Friend

    For some, being alive is reason enough.The pain is sometimes just too much,and friends and family sometimes can't understand it, or help.

    I have tried several times, and it is mere incompetance on my part that i survived.

    I cannot live for friends or family,i must be able to live for me. I must find the happiness in myself.I cannot use others as a crutch.
  18. You need to stop this now before you really fuck yourself up. I am for serious. Aside from the damage to you are doing to your liver here is something you might not know: An overdose makes some peoples' brains swell.

    Take it from me this is an extremely painful and terrifying experience. Worst of all, once you are in the midst of it and you decide that you really want to live there is not a whole lot that you can do. Except suffer.

    I took over double the lethal dose and never went to the hospital. Somehow I survived but I have done untold damage to myself.

    I have not been the same since I did this and I don't know if I ever will be. It is not an easy thing to live with. If you are really trying to kill yourself with pills you need to go to the E.R. right now. Don't wait like I did or you could really mess yourself up.
  19. music_addict

    music_addict Well-Known Member

    Hey are you still there? I do hope you make the decision to seek medical help if you've taken a dangerous amount of chemicals.
    I want to give you some words of encouragement or a reason to keep going, but Im not really sure what to say that you haven't heard a thousand times before. and i know that the words from some random person on a forum are not going to make much of a difference anyway. But just remember that people do care about you and people certainly WONT be better off with you dead.
    but, ultimately, what path you decide to take in this twisted world is entirely yours. and all i can hope for is that that path leads you to some happiness.
  20. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the kind words, but I really don't like myself anymore. I had one thing keeping going and I screwed it up and I don't know if I'll ever get it back. I'm just a worthless piece of shit.

    Still here though, but trying not to be. Have some more pills left, but I'm trying to space them a little so I'm not just gonna end-up throwing them back up coz then it'll be a wasted effort.

    Feeling quite dizzy 'n' stuff though, so hopefully I'll be able to go sleep soon and not wake-up.
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