Failed for the 3rd time...

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by HOW, Jan 25, 2009.

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  1. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    Well I tried to end it all by ODing yesterday night. As I'm still here, it didn't work. They were the only pills which I had which could have caused death through ODing and nothing happend. My stomach hurts now in the morning but that's all. I had so much hope that it would work this time, I was lying down, nice and cosy, had my letter written, was a bit drunk and listening to Join me in death by Him ( ). It could have been so nice but I simply woke up, the 8 pills weren't enough, eventhough I searched before and it said that 8 pills would cause heart and liver problems, possible death. But as everything in my life, it failed.

    Someone said on here that ODing is the worst idea as it never works, now I can only agree. Before I took the pills I walked around my city and was so close to walking infront of a car. Now it's either walking infront of a car or the good old plastic bag trick :smile:

    There is nothing to live for atm and there never will be...
  2. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    How, I am glad you 'failed' as you put it. Now is obviously not your time :) You are a wonderful person How, you supported me before. I'm here if you want to talk :)

    Lea :arms:
  3. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    You people here are so nice, it makes me cry. But I just can't function in our society. If I'm alone with a person I can talk, make jokes, be normal but as soon as there's one more person my mind goes blank and can't think of anything to do or say. What kind of life is that? Now that I failed, I put off my sucide plans and hope that seeing a therapist can help. But I know I will try again.

    It's nice to know that not all people are as ignorant and narrow minded as the people I know.
  4. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    How, it said a possible death from 8 pills. The earth still wants you here, to keep on fighting, to save a life, and to help others. You are special, I am special, we are all special, and here for some reason or another, sometimes it feels like we're here for the bad people to have their way with, but that isn't the case. I'm glad you survived, but I cannot be a hyporcrite and beg you not to try again, because I feel suicidal, although at the moment, I am concentrating on getting stable.
    There is always something. If you need someone to vent at and talk to, pm me and I will give you my msn address.

  5. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi. i am glad it did not work. you are valuable to the world. look how you help people here!

    all of us who come here, have pain in our lives to some degree. (understatment of the year) when the pain gets really bad we can't see how to go on, how to indeed, function in normal society.

    but i believe there is a place for us, all of us, in the world. personally, i can say that i struggle with the pain and feel like suicide is always an option....but....i also know i don't want it to happen to you, or anyone else here!!!! you are doing good things by putting it aside for now, and by going to the counselor. those are positive steps - and you may reach a point where you do NOT want to try again - and find peace and your own place here in the world. i wish that for you, from the bottom of my heart. take good care hun..... :hug:
  6. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    I'm glad that you are still here!
  7. d-pressed

    d-pressed Well-Known Member

    Please go to a doctor and get a blood test as soon as possible as more damage could be done in the 72 hours after an overdose, even if you really don't feel like valuing your health at the moment.

    People here are ready to listen to you and support you, and there are people outside of here too - you just need to find them, and I'm sure a visit to the doc will be a good start.

    Keep us updated, okay?:smile:
  8. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    Well I'm seeing a therapist tomorrow. Probably a bit late to go to a doctor now. It said that overdosing can cause heart problems and since my OD my heart skipped quite a few beats and after running home today I felt as if I was about to die of a heart attack.

    I really hope that the therapist can help because at the moment I feel as if I'm addicted to think about suicide. The morning I woke up and realized I was still here, I was already planning my next attempt. I feel like throwing myself infront of a bus or car and everytime I cross the street I start walking while the cars are still passing.

    Thanks to all your support, it's much appreciated. :biggrin:

    100 posts :biggrin:
  9. mew2you

    mew2you Member

    Earlier this month I tried to end my life and was also unsuccessful. I've heard, "It just wasn't your time." I honestly do not know how I survived. I, too, still think about suicide. I'm trying to give it all a chance myself. Seeing a new therapist and a consultant psychiatrist. I've thought about jumping in front of a car, but I wouldn't want to involve an innocent person in my death. So that is my deterrent. How are are things going for you right now? I'm hanging in there day by day. If you ever want chat just pm me. I'm new here so you've probably never heard of me.
  10. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello How,
    You are doing the right thing by going to a therapist. I have been dealing with this for the last fourteen years and have found that therapy helps more than seeing a shrink. The only reason I still see one is to get my meds prescribed, other than that he is useless. He won't let you talk so how does he know whats going on inside you.
    A therapist will teach you coping skills and how not to discount your positive thoughts. Give it a serious try, maybe even start now by writing down your thoughts so you don't freeze up when talking to him/her. You will have to tell them everything , not all at once but eventually so they can come up with a treatment plan for you!! I wish you all the best!!~Joseph~
  11. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    I know what you mean mew2you, I hate inflicting pain to others, even if it's only saying something bad to someone. I'm just a really emotional person. But jumping infront of a car is probably the only thing I would do. I have a problem remembering names so I probably won't remember your name but I remember avaters without problems. :biggrin:

    Writing down my thoughts before-hand is a great idea. I saw her for the first time today and could hardly talk, not that that was a new thing for me :biggrin:

    It felt so good being able to speak. Thanks to all of you :thanks:
  12. mew2you

    mew2you Member

    Yea, my avatar is kinda hard to forget. What can I say? I like grover. :)
  13. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    I like it, very happy :biggrin:
  14. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    Flamingneenja, if you have nothing useful to say don't say anything at all!
  15. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    well said. i reported his posts, hopefully he will be de-trolled :p
  16. lukes

    lukes New Member

    how can 8 pills of anything be enough to die from?
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 31, 2009
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