Failed ( grrrr very upset )

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by White Dove, Aug 5, 2007.

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  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    My stupid time to attempt it has failed me once again..( grrrrrrr )

    What happened????

    welll , first i overslept cause i had drank too dang much beer and took a little to help me sleep.. then i get up and about 5 minutes later get a call from brothers wife , she was stranded in cookeville and broken down.. brother has done went to work , had to be there at 1 pm and so here it is 3:35 pm , so off to cookeville to get her and the kidds, well get back around 5:30 and they ( the kids ) want to go to church , so its off to church i go with the girls and then we are 5 minutes late..

    and get this...

    AFTER CHURCH,

    THE MINISTERS WIFE TELLS ME SHE HAS SPOKEN WITH MR DALTON AND THAT HE TELLS HER TO TELL ME EVERYTHINGS OKAY , ETC...

    What the hell do they think i am a play thing or something...?

    get this, she tells me that he says ( mr dalton ) that if i want to corespond with him to give it to her and she can give it to him>>> How dumb do they think i am???

    DO THEY NOT KNOW THAT I CAN NOT TRUST ANYONE , NOT EVEN A MINISTERS WIFE ?

    They (the daltons ) have my phone number , they know where i live , they have my address.. No need to bother going through a stupid third party... to do so they are not really sincere in my opinion.... how do i even know she even talked to him???? Perhaps she has been here and seen what i wrote and wants to say that to help me feel good?? well its not gonna work... NOT EVER.. I CANT TRUST, CANT THEY SEE THAT??? I DONT KNOW IF HE ACTUALLY SAID IT OR NOT... I DONT KNOW IF SHE EVEN TALKED WITH THEM... HOW AM I TO KNOW , JUST SUPPOSE TO TAKE HER WORD FOR IT??? COME ON IM NOT THAT DUMB... NATURALLY THE CURRENT MINISTER WOULD SAY HEY WE TALKED WITH THE DALTONS AND SO AND SO AND THEY SAY EVERYTHING IS OKAY SO DONT KILL YOURSELF, ETC... WELL LET ME JUST SAY THIS.. I TOLD HER GOODBYE TONIGHT.. CAUSE I MEANT IT.. I AM GOING.. I WILL NOT BE ALIVE COME THIS NEXT SUNDAY... AND I TOLD HER I WOULDNT BE BACK.. SHE JUST SAYS WHY?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WELL DUH , WHAT DO YOU THINK I MEAN????

    im getting everything in order then im gone.... they had their chance and they blew it..... THEY COULD HAVE CALLED ME, THEY COULD HAVE VISITED , THEY COULD HAVE WRITTEN A LETTER , ETC , BUT THEY BLEW IT.. ITS TOO LATE NOW, JUST TOO FREEKING LATE.... NOTHING AND I MEAN NOTHING IS GONNA STOP ME WHEN I DO IT.. NOTHING.....

    would have done been gone if it hadnt been for my sister in laws car tearing up and her and the kids getting stranded, or else i would have done been gone...

    MR DALTON , YOU AND YOUR WIFE CAN TAKE YOUR PRETEND LOVE AND SHOVE IT, YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE BUT YOU BLEW IT.. YOU DIDNT CALL, YOU DIDNT COME OVER , YOU DIDNT SEND A LETTER , YOU BLEW IT.. AND NO IM NOT GOING THROUGH A THIRD PARTY WHEN ITS BETWEEN ME AND YOU AND YOUR WIFE ONLY. I AM NOT GOING TO SEND A CORESPONDENCE THROUGH HER EITHER... YOU WANNA TALK THEN YOUD BETTER GET ON THE BALL AND CALL OR SOMETHING...

    YOU BOTH KNOW MY TRUST HAS BEEN BROKEN MANY TIMES.. YOU KNOW I CANT TRUST... SO IF YOU ARE SERIOUS THEN YOUD BETTER CALL OR SOMETHING, CAUSE IM NOT GOING THROIUGH A THIRD PARTY. THIS IS BETWEEN ME YOU AND YOUR WIFE ONLY.... YOU KNOW HOW TO REACH ME....

    SO TELL ME, PER CHANCE YOU GONNA BE AT THE FAIR BOOTH AT COOKEVILLE ( THE ALGOOD CHURCH OF CHRIST FAIR BOOTH )FRIDAY OR SATURDAY NIGHT DURING THE DERBIES???? WELL LET US TALK THEN.. IF YOU AND YOUR WIFE IS THERE.. THATS YOUR ONLY CHANCE... ONLY LAST CHANCE.. ONLY REASON IM GIVING IT AND DELAYING IT IS BY CHANCE SHE ( JANE) IS TELLING ME THE TRUTH...

    DO YOU REALLY CARE? DO YOU REALLY LOVE ME? GUESS ILL FIND OUT IN THOSE TWO NIGHTS NOW WONT I... IF NOT IM GONE SUNDAY... CAUSE I WILL BE CAMPING THEN AND RIGHT AFTER THE LAST DERBY ON SATURDAY NIGHT IM GONE... SEE NO KIDS AROUND ME TO DETER ME LIKE TODAY WAS... NO ONE..
     
  2. King

    King Member

    hi

    i wouldnt say them things while its just happened as u are angry. have u had chance yet to think about wot u writen in this thread while not in a angry state of mind?

    as u do, read the bible and go to church, is there not any comfort in yr bible which could help? i know time is long and hard. i wish sum ppl wud keep more in touch wiv me, as i hav always felt lik im th one whos made th effort. u kno? ppl always change as time gos on.

    :mellow: well see you later, wait 4 yr reply...

    daniel
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 6, 2007
  3. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    whats wrong with what i wrote?

    i meant every word of it...

    and one other thing..

    I AM NOT A KID AND WE ARE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL... So why does he or they , want me to go through a third party to corespond with them??? im not a kid.. i am 35 years old and i am hurting..

    i gave them one final chance.. its posted here online... they got one week.. and one week only.. they know damn well i will do it.. and the only reason i delayed it was because the now ministers wife said that they said everythings okay , etc, and that if i wanted to corespond with him to do it by her ( third party ) im not in high school damn it.. im not a kid and i dont play games... if they are sincere they will contact me directly.. if not??? well case closed...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 6, 2007
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you failed. Don't do it again.

    Stay and talk it out. Why do you want to take your own life?
     
  5. markc

    markc Active Member

    'Dove, there's nothing wrong with what you wrote. A friend of mine recently said to me, "I never discount anything you say, because at the time you said it, it was exactly what you meant to say."

    When we hurt, when we despair, when we are angry, or afraid, or sad, our emotions speak the loudest and the most clearly. Never, never, let anyone tell you, "Aw, you didn't mean that." In the very instant you spoke or wrote, YOU know that you did.

    We love you and we care what happens to you. I care what happens to you, because I've hurt, and I've wanted to die, and I can sympathize with you. I won't insult you by saying, "I know how you feel", because for each one of us, the pain is unique.

    Just remember: I care.

    Peace,

    - Mark
     
  6. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    Im dying anyway , so whats the point in staying and suffering more???

    i seen my mom suffer with cancer and i myself was never good on taking any type of pain, yet i am getting emotional pain and physical pain and i cant fight both of them.. i just cant...

    i have a cancer thats taking me anyway, so i give up...
     
  7. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    thanks Mark , for caring...

    My life is over anyway... i am already dying, and in fact i think im already dead..
     
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