Hi all. Okay, so Saturday night past, I swallowed <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>. Little did I know all they would do is make me puke. SO annoying!!! See, my son killed himself a year ago and before he died, I never NEVER considered killing myself. I was happy. I was content with life. But now, I just want to see him. I want to hold him. I want to make sure he is okay. 75% says he's okay. Actually, probably 95% of me. But part of me needs to know! Of course the hospital sees me as a nut job. I'm not. I'm just ready to BREAK!!! I miss my son. I miss real laughter. I miss believing that tomorrow will be better. I miss believing KYLE HAD A FUTURE!!! He ruined me! He ruined his brother! Don't deep I don't blame him because I know he was depressed, but I'm so tired!