FAILED, Well I have failed at the time to do the attempt again.... okay now what happened that stopped me from doing it once more and before I mention this I want everyone here to know and all that come here that I myself am not stopping myself from doing it... There seems to either be a higher force behind it or an angel of power putting in road blocks to stop me... Now what happened to me... I went camping but had decided not to go to Indian creek due to the facts that I had blasted it online that was where I would be going to attempt my life and given the facts that I know of people keeping an eye on my computer that are involved with the law in some way so instead I went someplace else to do it at and to not have anyone to stop me cause I wanted it done and over with this time for good... Well , I gave my home key to my brother and his wife to have free use of my computer while I was gone and I left for camp.. took me 1 1/2 hours to get there but finally did and bought my set up place and put up my tent and all, got out my little gas grill and grilled me a beef patty and then with it being so hot outside I decided to go down to the docks and cool off and watch the boats and people water skiing and having fun , well I spent a good part at the docks just watching others have fun and reflect upon my life and that I have never ever really had any fun in my entire life.. seems all I ever did was take care of others to try and keep them happy and token care of from the time my mom first got sick when I was 14 up until now, I took care of her until she passed away, then took care of my younger brother , then kept the house up , took care of dad and made sure he took his meds and had something to eat , keep the clothes washed , quit school to help my brother continue on , etc.. Well after watching others have fun right up until quiet time which was about 10 pm I think , I then decided well I might as well get it over with , so I head on back to camp to take everything I had brought with me and to do myself in.. well I get back to camp and start to take it and get just a few down and I hear this noise of a car coming in, so I quit and this really handsome guy is driving this big dully 4x4 pickup truck and he decides to set up a few feet away from me, said he got lost but finally made it here.. so he sets up his tent and then he asks me if I can help him carry his children who are asleep to the tent which I do, he had a 4 year old daughter and a 7 year old boy with him.. He mentions that he is from Ohio and he and his wife divorced and that this middle part of aug. is the only time he can spend two weeks alone with his babies.. Well after that night he asked me to do things with him and his kids, we went fishing , hiking , and even had a marshmallow and hotdog roast.. I really enjoyed his company and his kids were so adorable.. Well the night before I had to check out he rented a boat and we rode out on the water at night time.. first time id ever been on a boat out in the water except those little paddle boats at the part here.. the stars were all so bright and the sky looked really big and it was almost like heaven... Well he got the boat back to the docks and we went back to camp.. and he kissed me on the hand and said take care Susan.. well I went on in and went to sleep. slept pretty good that night and when I woke up the next morning and went outside I seen that he had done left and I realized that I didn't even get his name so I went to the office and asked if I could get his name and the lady there said who??? Said no one else was beside me or camped near me cause I had asked for seclusion .. So now I am totally confused... Was he an angel? or did I just take way too much and dreamed the whole thing?? He knew my first name yet I never told him my name and I sure didn't get his name.. I find it kind of strange , yet I can and do believe in the power of God and do believe in guardian angels , but would a guardian angel appear as a man with kids??????? And would he be a man instead of a woman??? And would he stay with me the whole week to keep me from killing myself?????? Well i got back home thursday and then went to the derbies in jamestown friday night then came home and got drunk with brother woke up this morning and had a bad hangover , threw up a lot but at least my pain was all gone last night but its coming back tonight... And get this , the minister A.W. comes over to my house tonight awell around 430 and says well i see you are still alive, well duh , until i can get a good time alone to do myself in i guess i will still be alive.. So much has happened this week that i just dont know what to think anymore..... Does make me wonder why he came over... Why is it that they come over when they find out you are dying with a terminal illness???? Why do that not come over when you are healthy?? Well , anyway I failed or rather my time to do it has failed me once more... It has not stopped me from doing it just deferred it once again but I will say this , I will not make any more plans or set anymore time dates to do it in.. I will just wait until I find the right time and opportunity then do it cause if you make plans and set times something always interferes with it to stop me so without a date set I will soon find the right time to do it in but for the next day or two I am back, until i can find the right time to do it in..