failed suicide...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mr. nobady, Jun 9, 2016.

  1. mr. nobady

    mr. nobady New Member

    where to start this last year has been terrible, I lost custody of my sons that I have raised. Failed in two relationships, current financial situation is terrible. I am alone and have been nothing but miserable even with anti depressants and therapy I still feel worthless. About a month ago I got myself drunk and <Mod Edit: Methods> Now I feel worse like I am a failure because I cant even kill myself.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 9, 2016
  2. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you're still alive. We're here for you. Have you told your therapist what happened and how you feel? Keep reaching out.
     
  3. mr. nobady

    mr. nobady New Member

    No I haven't spoken to anyone about it until this post. I go to therapy and I feel terrible at the end because it just seems to bring up all my feelings of failure by revisiting all the problems. I have dealt with my depression my entire adult life and for the most part have been successful with keeping it in check.
    This last year I guess, has pushed me to the breaking point and no matter what I seem to try or to do to find happiness I just cant make it work anymore. I was in a relationship which I thought was going well until recently, when she told she felt like my happiness was based solely on her and us and that she could not handle it. Not even sure what it means because yes I was happy with her but did not feel like there was pressure by her to make sure I was happy. So just when I feel like I am crawling out of the dark abyss it just seems life kicks me back into the darkness. I am so tired of hurting.
     
  4. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Please keep going. I know life can be hard. So sorry you're hurting so much. Know we're always here. Please keep talking and opening up. Even if on here is the start.
     
    PracticalGrit617 likes this.
  5. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hi Mr.Nobady, welcome to the forum. In therapy it's quite common to feel worse before it gets better. I encourage you to tell your therapist how you're feeling, but getting these "stuck" emotions to the surface and out is the way to healing. Life can get better and yes it may take some pain to get there. Hang in there, we'll support you here as much as we can
    Brian
     
    brknsilence likes this.
  6. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Sometimes brutal honesty is the best policy in Therapy you're not there to simply edit/omit everything you say. If you are not simply comfortable saying it outloud to the Therapist maybe you could reconsider and reevaluate your relationship with the T and consider trying someone else.
     
    PracticalGrit617 likes this.
  7. mr. nobady

    mr. nobady New Member

    Thank you for the input. I agree that I probably do hold back from sharing all my emotions just for the fact that I am more embarrassed than anything.
     
  8. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    That's totally understandable, I was embarrassed to, at first. Then I found that here on the forum I didn't have to be, no one judged me and many had been through similar challenges as I had. Hope you can feel comfortable and maybe get some release. Take care
    Brian
     
  9. Have you considered couples counseling?