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failed three times

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by prozac4490, Oct 10, 2010.

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  1. prozac4490

    prozac4490 New Member

    I was in a suicide pact when I was fifteen with a friend of mine. We got caught before we could complete it, and my friend decided suicide wasn't worth it. I wasn't so sure.

    A year and four months later I overdosed on xxx and wandered out into the desert, where I called my Creative Writing teacher for help. He called the police -- I got helicopters and all -- and eventually I was rescued. They pumped my stomach, which was not nearly as traumatic as I had expected, and kept me for a few days. I was put into a juvenile psychiatric ward for about two days before my parents decided to yank me out. My teacher never really liked me after that... it was very painful for me, because we were close before that.

    About a year after that I was so suicidal that my high school decided I was too dangerous and kicked me out. They said I could still graduate since it was so close to the end of the school year, but I couldn't physically return to the school. My high school was my life, so when I got kicked out it was the end of the world for me. I overdosed on xxx and nearly died. I don't remember anything about that night except that my ambulance paramedic recognized me from my first suicide attempt. My friends decided that they didn't want to deal with me anymore after that. They eventually forgave me, but I never forgave THEM...

    July of 2009 I overdosed on my xxx (he's a diabetic. I know, it was lame. I got enough grief from the hospital staff about that though.) It had absolutely no affect -- my body just adjusted on its own. I managed to talk the hospital psychiatrist out of sending me to a psychiatric ward (we argued for a long time and then he was basically like, "to hell with you!") and I went home and went to a college class the next day.

    Those are my suicide attempts...
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 10, 2010
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and thank you for sharing...how are you doing today? I hope better..please let us know so that we can support you...big hugs, J
  3. mistysautumn

    mistysautumn Well-Known Member

    Hi. I'm kinda in a similiar situation like you. I failed two times and I'm planning a third one. Firstly, I went to another country and I took 70 pills and survived. The police from that town called my parents and they came for me and so I ended up two weeks in a mental institution. Second time, I was at home and I took 150 pills with an apple. I survived it too, barely. I'm okay now, I'm not depressed, but I still feel the urge to die. Insane, right? :D
  4. Khloe

    Khloe Well-Known Member

    I'd really like to talk to you, all of you.
    How are you feeling now?

    I only ever attempted once, in a huge crying episode where i self harmed, and that didn't seem to help at all, so i took some random pills i found in the cupboard, but all they seemed to do was nock me out for a few hours.
    And i felt tired when i woke up.
    I don't really think i had thought about it an awful lot tbh!

  5. bring-a-smile-to-you

    bring-a-smile-to-you Active Member

    Failed 4 times! Pathetic or what...I couldn't even manage to kill myself. :/ It's been a year and 6 months or so now...I've got good at putting an act on for my family too, they think I'm happy which means they stay off my back. Things are getting tough recently though, I've been cutting my hips to shredds, its the only place I can hide the scars. But, suicide is looking like a good option currently. :/
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