Failed..why am I not in hospital?!

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by randycrabtree, Mar 3, 2009.

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  1. randycrabtree

    randycrabtree New Member

    I posted b4, but have a lot more to say....
    I dint specify about when i did this b4..i think...So, about 2 weeks ago I crushed most of the pills up and took it with water. 15 minutes later, i swallowed the remainder of uncrushed pills. I did this while drunk- i had 4 cocktails about an hour before. Also, after taking the pills, I had 4-5 teaspoons of (). for some reason i really thought this would kill me.

    after the fact, i dont know how i possibly thought that..i guess in my state of mind at the time, while drunk, i read waay too much into the warnings of the sometimes "synergistic" effect when combining different meds..along with the addition of alcohol to the mix...somehow convinced myself it would be kill me. Also thinking that crushing them instead of taking them whole would really mess me up, cause me to slip into a coma....
    I just ended up falling asleep AN HOUR(wtf) after taking it all, slept for 10 hours, woke up with dry mouth, occasional ringing in my ears and a few times felt my heart rate speed up. a few hours after waking up though, that was gone, no vomiting, no pain of any type, no passing out. i'm pretty shocked that nothing else happened. esp. the combined effects of alcohol and ambien- how was i able to stay up for an hour? i wasnt trying to keep myself awake! does this seem strange or am i just over reacting here?..

    I'm 70kg, lean build. i had never taken these meds before so i have no tolerance built up. i drink 2-3 days a week on average, sometimes go a few months without drinking, dont use any type of drugs. I know that everyone's physiology is different..i have to accept the possibility that i did mess up my insides a bit and just cant feel any actual pain...yet. some ppl might be quick to say i have liver damage..but there is no acetaminophen in the meds i i dont think so...aside from my liver processing the alcohol i consumed......but i'm not a doctor so i could be quite wrong!
    yes, go ahead and laugh..i'm a total dumbass. its embarrassing, and i know, i should consider myself very lucky i didnt end up in the emergency room. ..

    guess i just needed to let it out, get some feedback about it. esp. speculation about long term effects.....i know i should go get checked scared to go to the doc i have no money, no insurance and i havent told anyone what i did. i dont want to drugged on a daily basis with anti-depressants or spend a week at some loony bin, that would really make me crazy...
    why did i try to OD in the first place? well to sum it up i lost my job, all my life savings, really stuck right now, no $ and have lost all drive..i know many ppl have it much worse! I'm not sitting here thinking "poor me", i'm just extremely pissed of and tired..wanna throw in the towel, tired of struggling through life having it all taken away, what's the point? I'm young now but will i end up 60+ years old, bitter and burnt out and still having to work just to survive? god i need a drink...
  2. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    You and me both need a drink.

    Anyway this is the place to be. You will find people here who genuinely care about you.

    I can't say of you messed up your liver or not. I know you have no money. I am in the same boat there too. But think about this...if you attempt again and survive it could be worse for you and you may end up in the hospital anyway.

    I spent a week in the hospital and almost went back a couple of weeks ago. I think of the hospital mental ward like this; If you suffer a physical injury, say like a broken leg, or maybe have something wrong like heart problems, you would go to the hospital to heal. Well the brain is just like any other part of our bodies and sometimes it gets injured too. The Mental Ward at the hospital is the place to go and heal.

    Anyway...I glad you survived your attempt. Take care!
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    You're not a dumbass nor am I laughing hun. It doesnt matter how you tried but that you did try. That your situations in life are so dire that you would attempt is bad enough. I dont know the laws or procedures where you are, but I dont think they would admit you to the "looney bin" if at this point you went for a check up. You should if only to reassure yourself so that you can rest a little easier. Please post and talk to other members here. It can really help just to feel like you "belong" in a community where so many others really understand the demons you fight. So many hands there so just grab one and lets see if it cant help to bring you a little hope.
  4. randycrabtree

    randycrabtree New Member

    Thank you so much. your support deserves a response, and a thank you. Will do my best to hold on..I'm so drunk now...all choked up as i write this . im gonna try to ride this out.. i cant stand being alive everynight sober if i dont OD agina
  5. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Hi Randy.

    If you're concerned about your liver or organ failure, just go to the doctor, say you've been drinking heavily and that you occasionally take some pharmaceutical pills (don't tell how many). Tell the doctor that you've been experiencing some abdominal pain and you'd like to get it checked out. Hell, just tell them your abdomen hurts.

  6. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    There may be a poisonous & info line you could ring anonymously? I did an OD and rang them and they were great.
  7. Samantha

    Samantha Well-Known Member

    Are you afraid of been sectioned?

  8. derbygirl

    derbygirl Chat and Forum Buddy

    Hey hun,
    youre in no way a dumbarse, and anyone who laughs at your attempt is insensitive and doesnt understand how painful it is to lose all hope and think there is no other way. I am glad you didnt succeed in your attempt. The reason, I think, that your body barely reacted to the overdose is that you seem to be a very physically healthy person and the enzymes in your cells were able to break down the foreign chemicals you ingested. For this reason, it is very hard to commit suicide by overdosing on pills, because even though your mind is fed up,your body isnt.

    I know what it is like to have nothing, to lose what youve worked hard for. Perserverance, determination and a little stubborness helps keep you going and get back on the wagon so to speak. It takes a hell of a lot of time, a lot of strength to deal with the set backs (which there are usually many). But once you begin to see that things a little better, no matter how small the difference is, it makes it easier to keep going. These failings, set backs, fuck ups etc, if you can keep going it makes you a STRONGER person and more able to cope when shit is thrown at you again.

    Keep living hun, were all here to help, and to understand as a result of our own struggles.
  9. Killingmyself

    Killingmyself New Member

    I know this.
    Years ago
    I was taking 4 or5 pills of a medicine from my mother
    (witch makes her sleep wel).
    And nothing.
    I just sleep very long. thats all. :-(
    Maybe i had to take them with whisky or so and not with water.

    It was not enough....
  10. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    course i'm scared of being sectioned
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Randy,
    I agree with James that you should get yourself checked out.. You don't have to go into all the details.. Just tell them you drink and you took some meds that have caused you discomfort..That you think you should have a blood test because you want to make sure you haven't done any damage..
    And I don't think your a dumbass, you were having some very serious issues at the time and just lost focus..If there is a next time, come here to the forum and talk to us, let us help support you.. I'm sure you could PM just about any of us and let us know how down you are. Myself personally have stayed on line with other members for hours trying to help support them..Take Care!!
  12. d-pressed

    d-pressed Well-Known Member

    Hi there,

    If they were to section everyone who took an overdose every day psychiatric wards would become completely over-booked!

    Because this was 2 weeks ago and you almost certainly would have experienced some symptoms had there been substantial damage suggests that you're okay. Our bodies are surprisingly good at processing poisons, especially the liver. If you give it a break, less drink and eat more greens it's expected to regenerate quite quickly. However obviously you should both go to a doc to get a liver function test (blood test) and also get referred to see someone. Your economic situation doesn't help and of course you may have to find other options if a psychiatrist/psychotherapist is beyond your means at the moment, so I would say find a local support group. I'm sure if you did a google search you would find one. They may be run by charities perhaps and may not only consist of group 'sitting in a circle and talking about all that one throws at you'-type things, but also maybe art classes etc which may be really therapeutic and help you on your way to feeling abit more human again.

    It's tough, but you will come out of this if you want to and be a lot more stronger for it.:smile:

    Take care.
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