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Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Aether, Jul 3, 2013.

  1. Aether

    Aether Well-Known Member

    After 22 days, I relapsed. It sucks to know that even if I wouldn`t have stoped myself from it, it would still be the EXACTLY THE SAME THING!! Now I`m starting again. Day 0. And soon I`ll fuck up again and I`ll be right back again at the fucking 0. I don`t know if it`s even worth trying again. I`m bound to relapse. It`ll never end.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry you have been in such pain...for me, it took several tries before stopping many things...and for others, I needed professional help (yes, I had many self-medicating patterns)...please seek support and guidance...these monkeys are hard to get off our backs by ourselves
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    keep at it, never give up! I've relapsed on something but I'm determined to stop it so I'm back at it...keep trying and tell yourself at least you succeeded for a while...so for that while you gave your mind and body a break...so now start again...I know it seems like it's pointless but it isn't...you can do it, and do it again if you have to...it DOES count :)
  4. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    (((WannaSmile))) this a couple of well meaning hugs just for you now.. Just the way you are now is fine for me always..

    Love, Jim
  5. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    When we are children, there are many sayings we are fed that are intended to help us learn to cope in our adult lives. The story of the little engine that could is one of them. Another is the saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."
  6. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I hardly call 22 years success a failure- maybe you need to quit beating yourself up so much. It is not about a number - it is about today and tomorrow - nobody else knows what number it is or cares - day 3 or day 4700.....
  7. Aether

    Aether Well-Known Member

    Thank you for all the support darlings! I still have to convince myself that it worth to try, but that`s ok, I guess.. Jim, how are you always able to make me smile ? Thank you, it`s been literally years since someone didn`t want me to change :hug: pickwithaustin, I`m trying to try :)
    NYJM.. There aren`t 22 years.. they`re 22 days. :distrust: Heck, if I`d stop for a whole year I`d get myself a trophy or something :first:
  8. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    same still applies - see- after 45 years I have not mastered reading - the day is just a number -it is you that counts. No task is easier if you are beating yourself up over it. You have seen that it is a choice for you - be proud of the accomplishment and build in the success :hug:
  9. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi. Recovery is not a smooth journey. Its a journey a bumpy road. People who are successful get right back up again and take charge. You have not failed. You just relapsed. A glitch in your recovery.

    Success with recovering frm addictions and self medication isnt about not relapsing. Its about what we do when we do relapse. Each time we relapse is an opportunity to gain more recovery muscle. Its not really starting over again. Those 22 days did happen. You did that. And you can do more days. And more and more. You did not fail unless you had let the relapse continue :hug: Really :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 7, 2013
  10. Neverforget

    Neverforget Member

    The way I read your post, for the last 22 days you did not abuse umm, substance X. That's a reason to celebrate! I wish I could say the same about me and my substance.

    Get back on that horse. I am right behind you :)
  11. Neverforget

    Neverforget Member

    Btw, I read about Bill W. the co-founder of AA. It took him a looong 17 years from the time he decided to stop self harm with alcohol to quitting time. But every time he "failed" he got up, dusted himself again and started one day at a time.

    What a concept. That guy (his personal life aside) is my hero.
  12. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    You aren't a failure; we all relapse every now and then. We are all in your corner to support you through this. :)
  13. Aether

    Aether Well-Known Member

    Thank you everybody :grouphug: <----Big, big hug for you all
    Witty darling, thank you but I`m not sure I have the same opinion..
    I`m right now on day 8 and feeling pretty good, so let`s have a looong ride together, Neverforget, okay ? Hugs