I tried to end my miserable life. But it's failed.. These days, pictures of a person's extremely happy life keep appearing in my head while I'm awake. I was treated as a rubbish. Nowadays, I can't sleep more and more. Because this person's wonderful life's pictures occupies in my thoughts.. I wanted to end seeing this person's wonderful life. It'll be 5th year I've been shown this person's miracles and happiness. I wanted to end this crying days of my life. I was crying to sleep as normal and then, I thought I need to die today. Then I wouldn't wake up tomorrow morning. I remember an article how a person managed to kill own life. I tried.. It was working.. I was thinking how the person treated me as a rubbish.. I was crying while I was trying to take own life. But I failed.. I have strange pain in my head now... Yesterday afternoon, I was thinking just <mod edit-methods>. I can't bear the person's happy picture in my head while I'm awake and sometimes it appears in my dream as well. I have no rest for 24 hours nowadays. Unless I take own life I will have to see this person's happy every day life. I must end my life this year. I think this year is the end of my life. I'm sure I can sleep forever this year. Every time I tried, my physical and mental are more damaged. I lost my smile since 2005. I lost happy feeling too.. While I'm crying and thinking about suicide, the person who treated my life as a toy is having happy and loving life. I don't remember when I was fully happy and appreciate to every thing around me. I don't remember how I was believing positive future.. All went opposite. My life became full of devastation and miserable life. I haven't slept well more than 4years now.. I need to rest forever. Time has come.. My life plan was having a happy family but now it went suicide every day life.. One person can do this... There's no need murdering.. One person can one another's life like a hell, miserable and suicide life... I learnt this..