Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Kimi, Jan 22, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Kimi

    Kimi Well-Known Member

    I tried to end my miserable life. But it's failed.. These days, pictures of a person's extremely happy life keep appearing in my head while I'm awake. I was treated as a rubbish. Nowadays, I can't sleep more and more. Because this person's wonderful life's pictures occupies in my thoughts.. I wanted to end seeing this person's wonderful life. It'll be 5th year I've been shown this person's miracles and happiness. I wanted to end this crying days of my life. I was crying to sleep as normal and then, I thought I need to die today. Then I wouldn't wake up tomorrow morning. I remember an article how a person managed to kill own life. I tried.. It was working.. I was thinking how the person treated me as a rubbish.. I was crying while I was trying to take own life.

    But I failed.. I have strange pain in my head now...

    Yesterday afternoon, I was thinking just <mod edit-methods>. I can't bear the person's happy picture in my head while I'm awake and sometimes it appears in my dream as well. I have no rest for 24 hours nowadays. Unless I take own life I will have to see this person's happy every day life. I must end my life this year.

    I think this year is the end of my life. I'm sure I can sleep forever this year.

    Every time I tried, my physical and mental are more damaged.

    I lost my smile since 2005. I lost happy feeling too..

    While I'm crying and thinking about suicide, the person who treated my life as a toy is having happy and loving life.

    I don't remember when I was fully happy and appreciate to every thing around me. I don't remember how I was believing positive future..

    All went opposite. My life became full of devastation and miserable life.

    I haven't slept well more than 4years now.. I need to rest forever. Time has come..

    My life plan was having a happy family but now it went suicide every day life.. One person can do this... There's no need murdering.. One person can one another's life like a hell, miserable and suicide life...

    I learnt this..
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2009
  2. Rachel123

    Rachel123 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're feeling down. I'm glad that you failed your attempt. One day at a time my dear. Don't lose hope :hug:
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am glad you are still with us but sad that you are hurting so terribly. I know it doesn't seem fair, but maybe it is time to let go of the jealousy you feel over them having a good life. It won't help to hold on to these ill feelings.
  4. mystereo2099

    mystereo2099 Well-Known Member

    Arg, yeh insomnia majorly sucks. Lying awake in bed all night with a dead-tired body and a racing mind. Other problem is - no one's awake so you're all by yourself.

    One day at a time...
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.