Failed.

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by ~Claire, Feb 1, 2009.

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  1. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    I am so ashamed, not the fact that I tried to kill myself but the fact that I worried so many people here. For that, I am so sorry & if I can make it up in any way then I will.

    My plan was fool proof or so I thought. But no, stupid me passed out in front of a paramedics house no less! Was taken to casualty, though I was pretty out of it so I don't remember much. They knew I had been drinking but I didn't tell them that I had taken an OD. It took them a while to get any info from me, they never even knew my name as I had left the house with absolutely nothing. I didn't even have a jacket on.

    Eventually I let them call my Dad. My Stepmum & him had to drive over an hour to get to the hospital. They were worried about my heart rate as it was very high, I kept telling them that it always had been so it wasn't a concern for me. After throwing up for what felt like forever I began to feel better. I was eventually discharged after them regarding me as just another victim of Saturday night binge drinking. On the way home, I had a big argument with my parents & got pretty much hysterical, it was all along the lines of 'you don't love me', which is mad seeing as they drove through the middle of the night to come get me.

    I'm at home just now & I feel ok, no after effects. My Dad wants me to go stay with him for a while, so they can 'take care of me' so I need to try & sort stuff out with work & my meds as I'm still on daily dispense. My stepmum is a nurse so she is hoping they can trust her with my prescription.

    I'm 26 but sometimes feel like a 10 year old. I really thought it would work this time, the alcohol & tablets weren't meant to kill me just make me a bit braver for what I was planning. I wish I could say what I done has put me off, but it hasn't.

    Again, I am so sorry everyone.

    Take care, Claire xx
     
  2. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    I for one am glad you're still here Claire. I truly want to help you. If there is anything at all, no matter how big or small, that I can do to help, all you have to do is say.

    wishing you all my best

    :kenny:
     
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I'm glad that you're still here Claire, but I'm sorry you felt so bad that you tried to od. You seem like such a nice person, and it saddens me to hear that your life almost came to an end. Please don't do this again hun. Please talk to us when you're feeling down. :hug:
     
  4. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    I am really happy that you are safe claire :)
    I'm glad you have the support you need off your Dad and stepmum. Staying with them and letting them look after you might be just what you need :)

    Always here to listen if you want to talk.

    take it easy for a while and take care,

    Lea :hug:
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm so happy you're still with us claire :hug:

    I did something similar to that before. Got so out of it that I couldn't go through with my plan.

    I'm always here if you need to talk hun x
     
  6. d-pressed

    d-pressed Well-Known Member

    Hi Claire,

    I'm sorry to hear about your overdose. It's really important right now that you let a doctor know about it so they can check everything is okay, most likely through a blood test. They can then perhaps recommend to you a counsellor of some kind. Your parents should be your main support base, so you should probably come clean with them too about what happened. You shouldn't be ashamed - you just need some help right now, you're only human after all. It doesn't imply weakness or anything else. Please make this first step to help yourself by going to your doctor. There is hope for you Claire, it's difficult to see that now, but it's true.

    Take care
     
  7. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i'm glad your still here hun, i was quite worried about you :sad:

    please if you want to talk about ANYTHING anything, pm me. i'll give you y msn if you want :hug:
     
  8. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I'm glad your still with us hun and I'm sorry you felt so desperate. I'm around if you need to talk or if you want my msn address just let me know :hug:
     
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Claire,
    You are such a wonderfull person it would sadden me to no end if something were to happen to you!! You are definitley one friend who has shown me major support with my problems. I want to do the same for you!!!
    I have had to sit back and reevaluate myself since my brother in laws death. It affects our families more than I ever knew. I can only imagine the pain we would cause our loved ones if we went thru with it. Please take the help offered you and rely on your dad and stepmom. It sounds like they really care.. I am always here for you. If you need to talk then you already know that you can talk to me anytime!!!You are my friend!!!Take Care!!~Joseph~
     
  10. I think, what you need, is a gigantic dog.
     
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hi Claire,
    Just checking on you...I want you to know you are in my thoughts!!! I hope all is well!!! Are things going o.k. being with your dad and stepmom?? I am here anytime if you need to talk!! Take care!!~Joseph~
     
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