Many of you may know me, and its more likely most of you dont. Ive been in SF since 2006. Im a self harmer. ive got more scars than i can count, between the old ones and new ones. 3 months ago, i was on an urge, couldnt find any razors(actually didnt looked very well) and i simply got tired of feeling pain. Of feeling numb, of feeling im such a cld hearted bitch. I took around 30 pills to sleep my ex psichiatrist gave me when i was on threatment. I didnt knew if it was going to work, even though i was wishing to end it all. didnt say goodbye, nor a letter no shit. i woke up 2 days later at home,(of course my boyfriend who i live with took me to the hospital, since i have some memories of opening my eyes,but nothing else is in my memories) since i woke up that day, im no longer thinking about killing myself 24/ 7 but i still thinking why it didnt work. Like when u cant understand something and u need to try it again to work it on your mind. i know its odd, and sadly i dont feel any better than that day, but im glad (and this is going to sound awfull) im glad to be back just to keep feeling the blade on my skin.