I did it again. 6 months of being clean of cutting, burning, bruising. Couldnt take it anymore. That constant memory. That craving to feel the blade agaisnt my skin and let the blood and pain wash the anger and depression from my heart. I dont know what to do. The only thing that seems real at the moment is the bleeding wound on my arm. I should be at college right now but i cant be arsed. I want to sit here and wallow in self pity nd try to sort the things in my head around. I'm so lost. Its been a while since i let myself fall into these dark habits. I need help with the anger, the depression with the hallowness. But i'm scared. I need to talk to someone but my parents have said if i cut again they will send me to the mental hospital themselves and abandon me. They have already abandoned me really. They refuse to pay for anything apart from the bills for the house we share, and food. I have to get a job to pay for my clothes, trips, college and everything. How can i when i have a full time college course. I need help. I hate myself. I want to feel normal.