I really want to end this life and I cann't do anything about it. I am so very tired. I have failed at everything and anything I have ever tried. I have no more rabbits to pull out of my hat. I have no reason for my existence. I am all out of everything both inside and outside. I don't know why I'm writing this. It's too late now anyway. I just want to go away-somewhere, anywhere but I cann't. Sh-t this is hopeless. I screwed up and told a family member, I do not know why. Support? none Just "pull yourself up and quit feeling sorry for yourself" routine. Just totally Embarrassed. That's why I don't vocalize. I am too old for this pity party crap, anyway.