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Failing again!

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#1
so a few of you know that I'm in a job i absolutely hate (funeral director) and it's taking a massive toll on my mental health. Today I realised that I'd messed up big time with a client, i told them they could have a certain service if they brought in certain paperwork, and they actually need something else. (All covid related) I dont even know why I said this as I've given out the correct info countless times before. All I can think of is that I'm incredibly stressed but now the client is putting in a complaint about me and I literally can't stop panicking I'm sitting crying and I feel so so stupid and I hate myself and I feel awful for the client even though she was rude from the start. I dont knkw how I'm going to face going in on Monday.

BTW I literally have not had time to ask for a meeting with managers etc to say that I'm not coping, i wanted to have left by now but so many responsibilities that I don't want to have to leave to someone else
 

Walker

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#2
Hi there,
I'm sorry you're so stressed out about this. I do get that you screwed something up but I'm curious -- what happens now? What's your boss going to say about this to you come monday or whenever that occurs? Is this something you could be fired for? (realistically) or something you could get some sort of (idk what the levels of discipline are there) a paper warning for? Is this a sit down in his office that you are dreading? I'm curious to know, realistically, what level of "trouble" you are in so we can see how to proceed from here.
 

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#3
Hi thanks for replying ☺ realistically, the company can probably hide behind 'changing procedures' with covid so I might get away with it without any formal warnings. Tbh I'm more upset with myself that I even did it in the first place, i KNOW this information like the back of my hand but for some reason when I was talking to the client I had something else on my mind (why i asked her for something different) and I didn't even realise what I'd done until 2 days later. I'm so so mortified
 

Walker

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#4
ahh okay. So you can likely get out of this by "shit, no idea what I was doing, I swear I'll pay attention better" so your job isn't on the line. Ego and reputation are bruised though and that bothers you. This I can understand.
Are you positive she's putting in a complaint?
For *me*, if I was SURE the complaint was going in, I would head it off with my boss and tell them ahead of time. Say, hey, I screwed this up and no idea what I was thinking. I've done this 100 times now and don't know what happened. I'll be more attentive in the future, yadda yadda.
If you're not sure the complaint will go in though, then maybe just hang tight and try to blow through the weekend and see what happens?
 

Walker

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#5
I do wonder if the high stress feeling associated with your job make people quite apt to say a lot of things they don't mean. I wonder if you get a lot of abuse there. (all side thoughts...) So maybe when the client is yelling "I'm gonna tell your boss!!" she totally means that in the moment but a few days later when emotions aren't as high she's like "yeah ok that's not as much of an issue as I'd realized"
 

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#6
ahh okay. So you can likely get out of this by "shit, no idea what I was doing, I swear I'll pay attention better" so your job isn't on the line. Ego and reputation are bruised though and that bothers you. This I can understand.
Are you positive she's putting in a complaint?
For *me*, if I was SURE the complaint was going in, I would head it off with my boss and tell them ahead of time. Say, hey, I screwed this up and no idea what I was thinking. I've done this 100 times now and don't know what happened. I'll be more attentive in the future, yadda yadda.
If you're not sure the complaint will go in though, then maybe just hang tight and try to blow through the weekend and see what happens?
My boss already kinda knows, but he thinks I just didn't ask her for the necessary paperwork not that I asked for the total wrong thing and now she may not be able to get the service she wanted because of this.
I feel that she probably will complain as she has already put a complaint in with the hospital for the care of the deceased. (Nothing to do with me) I'm not in work and this happened literally 5 minutes before everyone left so I didn't say anything. I dont kmow if it's stress or me being totally stupid or complacent
 

Walker

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#7
I want you veer off this for a second, about you, and for you to imagine that this was your co worker that had done this. Would you be saying they were "stupid" or "complacent" for telling someone the wrong information?
 

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#8
I want you veer off this for a second, about you, and for you to imagine that this was your co worker that had done this. Would you be saying they were "stupid" or "complacent" for telling someone the wrong information?
No way, although I dont think anyone else would do this haha
 

Walker

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#9
LOL okay. Well if they DID you wouldn't be like "well you're fucking stupid as shit so go fuck off to the office and tell (the boss)" You would say "well hell, let's see if we can troubleshoot that" and then if you couldn't fix it then you'd figure out plan B.
In this case it sounds like maybe you should head it off come monday and just tell the boss you screwed it up (given that she complained about the hospital and seems to be *cough* "that type"). Is that something you think you can do?
 

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#10
LOL okay. Well if they DID you wouldn't be like "well you're fucking stupid as shit so go fuck off to the office and tell (the boss)" You would say "well hell, let's see if we can troubleshoot that" and then if you couldn't fix it then you'd figure out plan B.
In this case it sounds like maybe you should head it off come monday and just tell the boss you screwed it up (given that she complained about the hospital and seems to be *cough* "that type"). Is that something you think you can do?
No i definitely wouldn't. Hahaha that's how I feel about myself constantly 😅 yep I'll have to come clean and deal with the fallout but on the bright side it's a good opportunity to tell them I'm not coping
 

Walker

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#11
I understand this thinking - I do the same thing. I have someone here to call me out on it pretty often. She says "would you tell ME that if I was saying that about this??" and I have no other option but to agree and say that no way would I say it. (which annoys me) It's just flawed thinking we have about ourselves.
So, we've established you're not stupid, you're not an idiot, you aren't necessarily being complacent as much as you are stressed out and not coping well which led to a lapse in attention in the moment. Your job isn't on the line and you feel like you can use this as a stepping up tool for telling them you're not quite feeling too well. That about cover it?
 
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Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#12
I understand this thinking - I do the same thing. I have someone here to call me out on it pretty often. She says "would you tell ME that if I was saying that about this??" and I have no other option but to agree and say that no way would I say it. (which annoys me) It's just flawed thinking we have about ourselves.
So, we've established you're not stupid, you're not an idiot, you aren't necessarily being complacent as much as you are stressed out and not coping well which led to a lapse in attention in the moment. Your job isn't on the line and you feel like you can use this as a stepping up took for telling them you're not quite feeling too well. That about cover it?
That pretty much sums it up, thank you for your support, i don't know what I'd do without you guys on here!
 

Walker

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#13
I sure wish every thread would wrap up so nicely :D
Really though, I'm glad you're feeling better now and hope that when you speak with your boss that goes okay. Come back and update us?
 

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