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Failing

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Dots

Misknown Member
#1
Suicide ideation is growing.
Feel so alone. So sad.
It's one thing after another. All these small things growing into larger issues. Relative's alcohol issues. Trying to move out.. being financially tied to her. Telling her I need to talk to her so we can handle the financial aspects of the move. Her not responding. Me left to deal with everything... not enough money to handle it all.
Boyfriend not with me. Somewhere else now.
Coworkers who I thought were friends treating me differently now. No idea why. Nothing has changed.
I can feel isolation pulling me down. I feel strangled and I can't escape and I want to not be here.
I feel so alone.
Trying hard to keep a positive outlook. Trying hard and failing. It feels like I'm failing at everything. At being a successful adult who can be social and interact with other adults. At living life. At loving myself. Taking care of my health. I just want to die.
 

shattered dreams

My scars are healed, doesnt mean the pain is gone
#2
Hi,
I'm sorry your going thru such a tough time right now.
it sounds like a pretty toxic
environment you are currently in,
sometimes you need to cut your losses and move on. I get
the wanting to die part, i'm suicidal myself, everyday is the
same. just think about what might be best for you. *grouphug2
 

SkyTree

Well-Known Member
#3
You're not alone; you have us! Try to look at the positives in your life. Think about what is going right instead of what is going wrong.
 

Dots

Misknown Member
#5
Hi,
I'm sorry your going thru such a tough time right now.
it sounds like a pretty toxic
environment you are currently in,
sometimes you need to cut your losses and move on. I get
the wanting to die part, i'm suicidal myself, everyday is the
same. just think about what might be best for you. *grouphug2
I'm trying to move on, but we're in this weird limbo place where we're still tied together until I can get out. No clue what is best for me but at least I feel better today. I'm sorry you're suicidal as well... It's such a shitty place to be.
 

Dots

Misknown Member
#6
You're not alone; you have us! Try to look at the positives in your life. Think about what is going right instead of what is going wrong.
Thanks SkyTree. I feel like so much of an outsider on this forum to be honest. It's hard for me to allow myself to make friends.
 
#8
From reading your post it seems your as physically stuck in your situation as I am in mine. I get it.
When life changes need to be made to but they don't happen no matter how hard you try, it can make an already bad situation worse. I can't offer a solution but I can say it's not just you. That means it's not your fault your stuck - you haven't failed. It's something random chance throws at people; some of us get hit by it. Not your fault it happened to you.
 

Dots

Misknown Member
#9
From reading your post it seems your as physically stuck in your situation as I am in mine. I get it.
When life changes need to be made to but they don't happen no matter how hard you try, it can make an already bad situation worse. I can't offer a solution but I can say it's not just you. That means it's not your fault your stuck - you haven't failed. It's something random chance throws at people; some of us get hit by it. Not your fault it happened to you.
Thanks... (insert name), it's actually a really big relief to hear that it's not my fault. I couldn't even feel how much I was blaming myself. It just feels normal. I am sorry you are stuck in a situation as well. I hope it changes soon.
 

Daphna

Ninja of light
#12
Suicide ideation is growing.
Feel so alone. So sad.
It's one thing after another. All these small things growing into larger issues. Relative's alcohol issues. Trying to move out.. being financially tied to her. Telling her I need to talk to her so we can handle the financial aspects of the move. Her not responding. Me left to deal with everything... not enough money to handle it all.
Boyfriend not with me. Somewhere else now.
Coworkers who I thought were friends treating me differently now. No idea why. Nothing has changed.
I can feel isolation pulling me down. I feel strangled and I can't escape and I want to not be here.
I feel so alone.
Trying hard to keep a positive outlook. Trying hard and failing. It feels like I'm failing at everything. At being a successful adult who can be social and interact with other adults. At living life. At loving myself. Taking care of my health. I just want to die.
It sounds like a tough situation. Is this relative using your money for alcohol?
 

Dots

Misknown Member
#13
It sounds like a tough situation. Is this relative using your money for alcohol?
Hi Daphna,

Not... really. We are supposed to split the bills and it's a gamble if she's going to pay or not. So in a sense I guess? She never steals from me, though she does take advantage.
 
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