Failuire Failuire fuckn FAILING !!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Nobodydifferent, Jan 6, 2016.

  1. Nobodydifferent

    Nobodydifferent Well-Known Member

    im tired I'm depressed im in bed most of the time I have migraines .. I'm a waste of a person ..when I have good moments .. No I don't spend them checking history and science honework with my son I spend them trying to be the fun mom ..

    And the emails come home .. He's not doing his homework .. He's not studying enough .. And then we fight and I get on his case and he promises rondo better and he does .. For a bit and I try to help .. Remember to ask more ..

    And cycle and repeat

    My sons a freshman in his school .. He would rather watch pain dry then do his homework .. I let him play video games .. Go on line play with friends . I'm that mom that horrible mom cause most days I didn't want to get out of bed ..

    This is why I wonder how killing myself would be worse

    So not I've grounded him and taken everything away ..

    And what do we do ? Sit and stare at each other all day ?

    I'm failing at everything

    Maybe I won't wake up in the morning
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there,

    How old is the son in question? (I'm not American so I am unsure what age a freshman would be). I don't think you are doing much wrong and doing all you can, if he needs to learn he will have his privileges taken away if he doesn't do his homework then so be it, his education is important, but you are also burdened with depression, I think getting that treated might help solve these issues with your son too. Have you ever sought treatment for your depression? I hope talking on here helps you de-stress and give you an option to vent as I can only imagine how hard that must be with a kid around. Keep us posted!
     
  3. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    You're not. You're trying really hard stop hating on yourself. You need to just be a bit more ruthless with his studies. Trust me, I understand very well, I was exactly the same. I wanted to talk to my friends and play games. I'd rather stare at a blank wall than do homework. He needs your help and it works when you give it him. Make a day each week or a couple hours where you will sit down and help him study. Or take his games away until his homework is done. Maybe a tutor would help too? These are the things my mum did for me and they did help a lot. Good luck whatever you decide. You're not a bad person.
     
  4. Nobodydifferent

    Nobodydifferent Well-Known Member

    Thank you .. My son is 14.. And I am seeing someone .. I tend to tell her the same thing that anytime something .. The tiniest of things goes wrong with my son I just feel like a complete failure .. I'm hardest on myself with him .
     
  5. Nobodydifferent

    Nobodydifferent Well-Known Member

    Thank you ..
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You should try and be less hard on yourself. I was wild when I was 14, extremely wild, trust me when I say it wasn't my mother's fault. Keep seeing who you are seeing and engage in the advice they give you, it is not your fault, you're not a bad mom, you obviously care a lot and that shows a lot. Best of luck :)
     
  7. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Teenagers are nearly impossible very often as a parent. I have 4 children, 23, 20, 17, and 11. All of them become impossible for a few years as teens and there is no right or wrong way to manage because no one way works for all. In the end you do what you can do and hope for the best but a lot of the responsibility falls back to the kid. In many countries not the US 14-16 is when kids are allowed and often quit school or go into the workforce. Because is impossible to get "real jobs" here until after 18 that is not an option even if they quit and we are told to treat these young people like children which they resent - even though they have not near enough experience or common sense to be treated like adults usually. Don't let people that are not in your home tell you how to parent your child. If you want advice or solicit advice is one thing, but don't presume or let them presume they know better. If you do want or need help there are real parent resources available in most places- call 211 and ask about parent resources for assistance.

    You do the best you can for your son and the best thing you can do for him right now is to get yourself help with the depression and with the migraines. When you are better then you will have more energy and time for him- so taking care of you is in his best interests.
     
  8. Nobodydifferent

    Nobodydifferent Well-Known Member

    Thank you .. I just know on my end I can put in a bit more effort .. He got his lazyness from me .. What a trait to pass on .. Lol..but part of me know that This is who he is and I have to I guess in some ways let him take on his on faults
     
  9. Nobodydifferent

    Nobodydifferent Well-Known Member

    Thank you .. And yes having a teenager in my house sometimes feels like have an alien living with me !