I've been pretty much alone for the past 5 years, with only occasional contact from friends from high school....basically I have no one. I've never had a girlfriend and don't suppose I ever will. I'm also so constantly depressed that I can barely do anything: many days I can't even eat or watch TV... As far as my life goes, I'm a three time college dropout, I'm unable to hold a job which means I have to live with my mom and just sit in the house all day thinking about what it would feel like to be normal, to just be a part of society. I don't have a car so I can almost never get away from the house... The point of all this I guess is that I'm basically a failure at life with no hope of becoming a normal person. So I guess I just think of suicide as the most rational way out. Why should I sit here and suffer day in and day out just for the hope that someday someone will come along and work some magic to solve the problems I've been suffering from for half a decade. I don't know.