So here goes; I have been diagnosed with a list of mental illnesses including depression, anxiety, OCD and have been suffering with anorexia for about 9 years. With two failed suicide attempts under my belt i feel, and many failed therapies, i feel like i have no where to go. My body is slowly failing me, but with the hospitals mental health team lurking around every corner, with the ability to detain me and treat me however they like, i live everyday in a panic thinking about ending up back there. I can't seek help for certain problems without the risk of being stuck in hospital against my will. I have no contact with family or friends, and my anxiety prevents me from being able to work so every day is long and tortuous. I want to end my life so badly, but the risk of failure, and again- hospital, stops me. Im so lost. I don't know what to do.