Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by loser1987, May 17, 2009.

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  1. loser1987

    loser1987 New Member

    sorry, but I just really need to vent, because my life is just slowly but surely going down and it's hitting me like one kick in the crotch after another.

    In the past week everything in my life that can go wrong went wrong. I was diagnosed with a disease (again) for which there is no cure. I am saying again because I was diagnosed with it once already and just got effing free of it for a couple of months and then it reoccured.

    Then I thought "OK, your health is going down the drain, but at least you're not alone, you'll get through it again" , but then my fiancee decided that she couldn't be with someone who eventually is going to croak early anyways (cu it's just a waste of time and not worth the hassle).

    OK, at least I still had academics. I'd been working to get into this one school for my law degree for the past decade, got into the effin top 5% of my school, top .05% on the standardized test and fail again.

    I just feel like a complete failure right now (which I am, for some reason everybody else around me seems to achieve what they want and it's only me failing to have the slightest bit of success without needing to put in the least bit of work while I worked myself to the bone) and I am not sure anymore what I have to live for. I talked to a shrink and he told me I should be happy and that my life is awesome (stage 3 cancer + alone + failure = awesome? ) and I am not sure what there still is to live for. My best friend says it would be just selfish to off myself, because he'd be sad, but I think he's the selfish one. I'm just sick of all of this
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Sorry to hear you have to go thru all this.. You should see a therapist.. Shrinks don't know squat.. A therapist will teach you coping skills to help you deal with what your going thru..
  3. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    First, welcome to SF and thanks for sharing this incredibly difficult (to say the least) situation.

    One thing I heard before that has always stuck with me is that "failure is an event...not a person". I think that's true. Situations occur whether your fault or not, but it doesn't diminish who you are as a person.

    The fact that your fiancee left shows what kind of person she is..I needn't say.

    What's the illness and prognosis.? I'm just trying to get an idea of what advice I can give, if any. I've had "scares' myself, lost friends and parents to it... so maybe there's something I can suggest.

    If you still feel like talking, please know that this site has intelligent, insightful people with whom you can share your thoughts and experiences.

    Please send me a private message if you're more comfortable with that. We are here for you.

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