Hey,
sorry, but I just really need to vent, because my life is just slowly but surely going down and it's hitting me like one kick in the crotch after another.
In the past week everything in my life that can go wrong went wrong. I was diagnosed with a disease (again) for which there is no cure. I am saying again because I was diagnosed with it once already and just got effing free of it for a couple of months and then it reoccured.
Then I thought "OK, your health is going down the drain, but at least you're not alone, you'll get through it again" , but then my fiancee decided that she couldn't be with someone who eventually is going to croak early anyways (cu it's just a waste of time and not worth the hassle).
OK, at least I still had academics. I'd been working to get into this one school for my law degree for the past decade, got into the effin top 5% of my school, top .05% on the standardized test and fail again.
I just feel like a complete failure right now (which I am, for some reason everybody else around me seems to achieve what they want and it's only me failing to have the slightest bit of success without needing to put in the least bit of work while I worked myself to the bone) and I am not sure anymore what I have to live for. I talked to a shrink and he told me I should be happy and that my life is awesome (stage 3 cancer + alone + failure = awesome? ) and I am not sure what there still is to live for. My best friend says it would be just selfish to off myself, because he'd be sad, but I think he's the selfish one. I'm just sick of all of this
sorry, but I just really need to vent, because my life is just slowly but surely going down and it's hitting me like one kick in the crotch after another.
In the past week everything in my life that can go wrong went wrong. I was diagnosed with a disease (again) for which there is no cure. I am saying again because I was diagnosed with it once already and just got effing free of it for a couple of months and then it reoccured.
Then I thought "OK, your health is going down the drain, but at least you're not alone, you'll get through it again" , but then my fiancee decided that she couldn't be with someone who eventually is going to croak early anyways (cu it's just a waste of time and not worth the hassle).
OK, at least I still had academics. I'd been working to get into this one school for my law degree for the past decade, got into the effin top 5% of my school, top .05% on the standardized test and fail again.
I just feel like a complete failure right now (which I am, for some reason everybody else around me seems to achieve what they want and it's only me failing to have the slightest bit of success without needing to put in the least bit of work while I worked myself to the bone) and I am not sure anymore what I have to live for. I talked to a shrink and he told me I should be happy and that my life is awesome (stage 3 cancer + alone + failure = awesome? ) and I am not sure what there still is to live for. My best friend says it would be just selfish to off myself, because he'd be sad, but I think he's the selfish one. I'm just sick of all of this