I tried to kill myself during the last week. i failed, im a failure in doing anything these days. I am down in ways i have never been before. I want to try suicide again but the very thought of the effort involved is too much at this time. I lie here in my bed until night falls and i venture out in the darkness to but some tabs and some drink and i drink and drink until i no longer feel and because i no longer feel i them have to self harm to make sure im still alive and when i realize i am then all the sadness, desperateness come flooding back. I have no idea what i am doing, why or what i am supposed to do. I need help.