Bing retunred to work on Monday gain. Was supposed to go back last Monday, but employer felt I wasnt ready and kept me off for the week. Going back Monday, nothings changed. I still get 2-3 hours a sleep a night due to severe leg pain that even vicodin wont take away. Have very stressful job with clients screaming in my face all day. Thats hard to deal with on a couple hours of sleep. So my old pattern was to take OTC caffiene pills in morning to wake up, and the takke 20-25 tylenol pm at night to try to9 get rid of oleg pain and sleep. Well, that got mje in trouble and I was involuntarlity hospitalized for what they said was a suicide attept. Called my drs office and my psychiatrists office today, asking if caffeine pills will interfere with my medicine and that I was concenred that I would not be alert enough to drive and do my job. Plus I took two caffiene pills this morning, then an anxiety pill a few hours later. It was like I hadnt taken the anxieety med at all and I was shaking all day. My psych dr neveer bothered to return my call. My family dr emailed me and said to drink coffee. Well, I hate coffee and cant get it down. I emailed bakc that I alldont like coffee, and did I have her permission to take caffeeine pills and would they interfere with work. She never answered me. So do I take caffeiene pills and shake all day at work on Monday to stay awake? And then not take anxiety meds? ANd be anxious and stressed all day? Ortkae anxiety meds and be barely awake all day? and risk having an accident with a client in the car? Maybe dr's want me to fail, they know my history of taking pills to sleep to get rid of pain so I can work. Have my intake mtg tomorrow to see if I will be accepted in a dbt group that I dont want to even be in. Boss wasnt impressed when I told her I had appt on my first day back. Cant imagine boss will be impressed when I tell her i have to leave for dr appt on wed, counseling app on thursday, and appt with psychiatrist on Friday. So thinking I better cancel them. I wish my legs would let me sleep. I may be taking pillls all weekend long to try to escape from thinking about Monday. juts feeling very alone and like no one cares.