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Faithless...Religious..could be Triggering*

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Terry, Jun 29, 2007.

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  1. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Ok this has been a bit of an eye opener and not a pleasant one:sad:

    Anyone who knows me knows my religion is important to me. It has always been my last refuge no matter what life threw at me, even as a small child no matter how dark the world or bad the experience I had God.
    For those who don't believe, I cannot explain this sense of God that I had...I just had it.

    Anyway, last night I got into a discussion with my son. My son was raised a catholic but was taught all the major religions (by me) as well so that when he grew up he could make his own decisions about what(if anything) he believed.
    At 14 he wanted to stop going to mass (I let him) but he still went to a catholic school.
    By 18 he had decided he wasn't sure what he believed but leans towards nothing. Fair enough, he is his own man.
    Last night tho we got into this religious discussion and I flipped out on him..ending in me bursting into tears:eek:hmy: = one freaked out son :eek:hmy:

    Upshot of this overly long thread..I am in blackness. Not that I don't believe anymore..more that I have no sense of God (for the first time in my life).
    Have no idea what to do, how to recover, how to stop feeling void:sad:

    Please, all atheists, be careful what you reply here...I'm hanging by my fingernails and cannot take negatives at the moment. You may think its all a delusion but I don't think I can hear that right now:sad:

    Anyone got any advice?:unsure:
  2. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Hey terry,

    *hug do you still go to church? etc. What about talking to your pastor or preacher (don't know what they are called sorry). Telling him how you feel. If that doesn't help why not looking outside of God.

    I'ms orry if that doesn't help. I'm not an overly relgious person myself so I don't know what to really say. Love you to bits though and im here to talk if needed
  3. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member


    Most of us go through times like this at some point - I know I had a long period of just not feeling He was there, even tho I believed.

    It's best to go with what your heart tells you to do right now, it'll lead you the right way, but I strongly suggest staying away from religious confrontations (where possible) for a while, until you feel able to handle them.

    Here for you :hug:
  4. rd9671

    rd9671 Guest

    Being raised catholic myself, I know where you are at the moment. It is a most formless place to be, almost without explanation. And it is something that can be overcome. For me, I went down a different path of spiritualness, I am not suggesting that this is right for you, it worked for me. And at this point I still believe in God, I just have a different sense of what his responsibilities are and what my responsibilities are. If you feel that you have somehow lost 'faith' then I strongly recommend that you increase your visits to church to see if it can be reclaimed. It can also help to speak with other church members, they may understand where you are at because of a similar situation. Because I chose a different path, I can't offer you much advice as far as your chosen religion is concerned but I do have to say that I think we as humans need something in the way of spirituality. So please don't lose that. If there is anything I can do, feel free to pm me anytime.
  5. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    :smile: Here's a quote you might like:

    “Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them -- every day begin the task anew.”

    St. Francis de Sales

    I think at this point probably the best thing you can do is cut yourself some slack. I understand your embarassment and discomfort, but you did something that's only human...you lost your patience over something you care about deeply. I don't think you owe your son an apology for expressing your beliefs, but you might want to explain to him that this is something you've always cared about very much, and that sometimes you might get carried away in the heat of the moment.

    I can't help you vis a vis your sense or not of a deity. I've never felt any such thing myself, and that's all I'll say about that on this thread.
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Terry I know how hard it is when the very core of your beliefs seem to get challenged. Doubt can make us very uneasy. I have challenged my beliefs on several occasions. The first time wasn't too serious since I quickly found my way back. This last time has been way more difficult. It is not that I don't believe, it is that I feel more that he has abandoned me and really doesn't care about what happens to me. The therapist I am seeing is also very strong spiritually. She is giving me many books to look through that really cause me to think about where I am. She also encouragestaking biblical passages and breaking them down into small portions and restate in my own words what they mean to me and my life. I am gaining a greater understanding. I don't know where I stand yet anymore, but at least i know I am exploring and trying to gather the information necessary for me to make an informed choice. I don't know if that helps you or not Terry. I guess it is important that you know many people go through times like you are experiencing now. I had a professor once that said that you cannot be a true believer until you have been an unbeliever. Maybe there is some truth to his statement.
  7. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I wish my old parish priest hadn't died:sad: I could really do with his calm soothing presence:sad:
    I have had times of doubt...doubt I can handle...this is more like fallinginto blackness and the blackness is empty.
    Perhaps its just me thats empty:sad:

    Good point made about going to church tho..I haven't been since I moved here (except for Good Friday) and I can't remember the last time I picked up bible:eek:hmy: Hadn't realised how long it has been till right this second.

    Thank you everyone for you replies :hug:
  8. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Awww Terry hunny, I'm so sorry you are going through this right now, I know it's not easy. I was not raised really to be religious, all I was told was that in the end people get what they deserve whether good or bad. Those were the only guidelines I had or "guideline". I wasn't taken to church besides to be baptized as a baby because my father's parents wanted it done, I was baptized in a Lutheran church... By the time I was 12ish I had nothing or no one but the abuse and torment at school, I found my way to a church and brother and sister Sharpton was there for me when no one was even though the way I had lived with my mother and step father had appalled them, they were fairly strict themselves, but they accepted me... I went to church on Weds and Sundays, (though wasn't Catholic, was Penocaustal)... Anymore I don't think much of the titles the give the different churches so many worry about I believe a lot of things that most of the religions have in common. I know I'm not a huge holly person but I still have my beliefs but the faith sometimes isn't very strong with doubts and such and I wonder sometimes is this all true or are these people who say it isn't right? But I still try and hang on by the last thread I have of it, I know how that feels, it's very hard. I know this is all blabbering and means nothing, but I want you to know you are not alone hunny. Please take care of yourself, I care for you a lot as always I will. I'm here for you whenever you need to talk you are always there for me, please let me be there for you. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 29, 2007
  9. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Praying the rosary has always calmed me down and made be feel more spiritual. Te rhythmic chanting and letting your mind go can be a comfort. Mother Theresa went through the exact same thing you are going through right now, which she writes about in her autobiography. I think this happens to most people at some point, but hang in there Terry :hug:
  10. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Tewwee :hug: :tongue:

    I think the suggestion for you to get more heavily involved in your local church is probably the best idea of all. I'm sure your not the only one to go through periods of doubt, and talking about it with others can only help. As you probably know I'm agnostic myself, I'm one of the 20% "non religious persons" according to the latest oz census, so ya fat lot of good I am. Getting more involved will also get you out of the house more....another positive, get too it! :wink:
  11. ybt

    ybt Guest

    agnostic does not necessarily mean non religious, that poll is run by fucking morons.
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