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Fake it Til You Make It

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Responding to you guys gave me an idea... I actually had a therapist talk to me once about FITYMI. Decide who you want to be and just play that role when you're around others. Not big lies like, "I'm a retired air force pilot who now owns a screen printing studio that makes graphic tees for celebrities." Just, "I am joyful and confident and bold," or, "I am full of life and know I can do anything," etc., until the habits and characteristics you admire become actual habits.
I wonder if anyone has ever really tried this, or at least thought about it? Then I thought, after reading Mister Empty's fantasy world description, surely there are other talented writers lurking about here (I haven't spent much time in the creative writing forum yet) and maybe character sketches, even sketches of our ideal selves, would be fun. I have to think about mine more before I could write it up.
Anyone else feel like giving it a go?


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Ok now this is really interesting!
First of all thx very much for writing about your Fantasy meditation place, It felt like i was really there walking this path and seeing all those surroundings you discribed specially those colours. You had me sooo calmed down!!! really nice!
(Btw i liked your crab avatar XDXDXD why the change XD)
And towards the other topic:
I have no experience with therapists, tho i got lots of experience from my own life and many others who confide in me. I got a lot of empathy (since childhood) so i could always see the pain of others and feel myself beeing in there situation. therefor helping them as much as i could.
I wonder if anyone has ever really tried this, or at least thought about it?
I think i may do this alredy... im not really shure as i dont know if it took over my personality or got to be my personality all along. Tho knowing myself from way before and my thinking process, of trying to show my best side as long as possible (making it unbelievably easy to talk to others and getting others to talk and confide with you) it really helped me a grate deal to get back into social life. (specially that smiling part showing of a happy respectfull manner)
Tho like i wrote this afternoon:
That moment when ppl smile at you and are very pleased about ur work. You smile, you nodd but the only thoughs you got are "i want to die".
I got this very often, beeing this other part of me while wanting nothing other then just die (this dying wish tho could also be interpreted as maby wanting to be myslef or wanting to do something else that actually would pic my real interests and therefore maby give me real happyness)
I just once talked about this with my father and then never again to anyone as i saw that it made him sad to talk to me about it:
That beeing that i dont have, and that i can't seem to find, any reason to live.
I do continue living as i dont have enything else to do really, and life does have its interesting moments and even funn ones. Im not always depressed or totally in the dumps or emotional pain.
But at the end of the day i still feel empty. i still dont care about what ever happend in life. and i cant seem to find that sparkle that i once had as a child where i could make anything fun and my playground i could rule over. Now i just rule over my fake life beeing cinda my real life tho not even close beeing the life i wish to have, doubting every descision. But comming back to the them, i still hold this mask in place and try to make the best choices in life. Because!!!! i dont want to end up with nothing at all.
That cinda would be game over and taking my life. (We could also disguss my habit of seeing this life as a game, playing through all the scenarios in my head but i guess that would take even longer XD)

Ou also will write about that character sketch you mentioned, i actually got one that could cinda fitt to me. will search the picture to it.


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WhatsApp Image 2018-03-28 at 22.31.20.jpeg

I would take this scetch of some comic character (someone mentioned it beeing one ^^ i didnt knew as i drew it then XD)
Because i love this gentleman cinda look while simply fashionly beeing cool ^^
(ok im not the fashion type of guy but i was always refeard as to be a gentleman) and beeing empty inside would cinda fit to it beeing a skeletton and it beeing dead and all ^^


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Thank you for the super thoughttout response! It's exciting that we can kind of meditate on the creation of others! I guess we know we can, which is why we read and watch movies to begin with, but it's especially great on a smaller, more personal scale like this!
It sounds like, from your experience, FITYMI is very hollow and unfulfilling. I'm sorry it's gone that way for you. I can see how, if your heart's not in it, it would maybe help socially, that is, outwardly, but not make you less sad. I wish all the time my inner child could take back over, so I feel you there! I think the bane of our generation is not knowing what to do with our lives. Older generations made jobs their whole life, or just accumulation of possessions. I think we're disillusioned with that model but don't have a new one. I believe I've heard we're one of the most depressed generations. Which is useful at least in that we can connect down here, with other people who understand.
Your illustration is awesome! You're an impressive artist!
As far as my avatar, it was a crab/turtle (much debate about how to combine those words) but then someone made me think of der Todesking and it seemed quite appropriate, considering the context. Also one of my favorite tattoos.


Well-Known Member
I think the bane of our generation is not knowing what to do with our lives. Older generations made jobs their whole life, or just accumulation of possessions.
yeah... that is one of the biggest problems. there is to much you could do and much to few opportunitys to find out about what fitts you... and then ur stuck with not knowing anything just taking something, switching, doing, chanigng again. never feeling acomplished
and thx =) i really like drawing. tho i do not that often.
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