Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by Xaos, Jul 24, 2010.
Make of it what you will...
It's an interesting article that doesn't surprise me at all. I think that when people are forced to be happy when someone has offended them that a negative feedback loop forms in their head in which they attack the person in their mind which further angers themselves which in turn feeds the anger toward the person who offended them. Since they cannot say something in real life there is no closure to the incident until they can finally get over it in their mind which takes much longer than throwing out the proverbial f*ck you at them.
It reminds me of another study that found that profane and visceral outbursts in response to pain or discomfort actually reduced the psychological impact of an injury. Taken together, both studies *could* imply that following one's emotional instincts is the way to go - though I'd caution that either coping method has it's pros and cons. After all, responding in anger may otherwise escalate a situation and make it far worse for both parties than letting the anger seethe within.
I think the best solution is training yourself to be able to let go of things in general, rather than in an ad hoc manner. I for one know from experience that trying to brush things off as they come at you does indeed wrack your brain. But over a long enough period of time, enough mental training can make such encounters genuinely okay. Being happy about everything else in life could make these little fights seem ultimately trivial for example.