Faking it?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Canti, Apr 19, 2008.

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  1. Canti

    Canti Guest

    Being at this forum for about a week, ive got to read afew peoples stories and it makes me notice how much people have been through. Then i look at myself and notice i havnt been through half as much as alot of people but its still efecting me the same. Aka i have very little reason to be depressed, selfharming etc yet i still feel shit every day. I thought about it thoroughly last night and i came out of it happy because finaly i realised i dont have to be like this, i felt free, but as soon as i woke the next morning i felt the same as always. I reminded myself of what i´d thought the previous night but it did nothing.

    Does this mean im a fake? Im not a weak person generally, i have fairly strong willpower etc but i feel so.. fake and poser like when i read about people with real problems. I thought maybe im being too modest and my issues are quite big but then i thought that is most likely a defence mecanism, protecting the way ive been and thought for years.

    Sometimes i wish for an exuse to be the way i am. I´ve thought about becoming a whore for cash when our family went through some horrible finance troubles (well there isnt a time when we arnt havign problem with that really) but i VERY much doubt a chunky hairy boy will be much of a turn on for perverts.

    I feel i need to apologise for being such a ****. Im sorry to you all with real issues for everyone like me. I feel ashamed.
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2008
  2. Twisted Sweet Lies

    Twisted Sweet Lies Well-Known Member

    No you’re not a fake! I haven’t been though as much as some people on here either. Something bad doesn’t have to happen to you for you to be depressed. Like nothing really bad ever happened to me but things just set me off spiraling down into a depression. It also doesn’t matter the size of the issue it’s what your able to deal with. If someone for example can’t deal with a small issue then they do have a problem. Like me sometimes I cut over little things when they all start piling up.
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    no need to compare yourself to others, its' enough that you are feeling sad, for *any* reason and i'm glad you found us. my final straw, last november, was failing my driving license test. you'd think, on the surface, how could a driving test drive a 42 year old woman to suicide, but there it is. of course, there were loads of other emotional difficulties under the surface but those are clearing up with time and support.

    are you seeing a counsellor? i ask because sometimes it takes an 'outsider' to help us out of the negative loops of our own thoughts. at least that has been my experience.
  4. jonstark

    jonstark Well-Known Member

    Willpower and reasons don't matter.
    For some, depression just comes out of the blue. There might be deeper reasons that you can't see - dissatisfaction with what you do, with where you live, with your friends/relatives. The Freudian subconsciousness. Who knows, though? Maybe you are just naturally predisposed to depression.
    If you're posting on a suicide forum, what could you be faking? You can't fake stuff like this.
    No need to feel guilty about being depressed.
  5. Canti

    Canti Guest

    "There might be deeper reasons that you can't see - dissatisfaction with what you do, with where you live, with your friends/relatives." Yeah reading that makes me think of quite afew things so maybe i do have reson.

    I realised after posting and going home that i started cutting and being depressed when i was bullied at school and work then i got mega stressed with work and such.

    BOLIAO Guest

    there are many many nights where I was suddenly able to think 'straight' only to wake up the following morning back to the usual dread. u r not alone.
  7. Whitewolf

    Whitewolf Well-Known Member

    If you fall and break your back it hurts right? Well, if you break your toe, it's not as bad but it still hurts almost the same right?
    Just because your experience is different doesn't matter, our pain is still the same. I also feel like some people here have gone through a lot more. But i keep in perspective that i am in pain too, though my experiences are different.

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