About 2 years Ive been going out with my girlfriend and now this very valentines day weekend she decided to break up with me. We were in Love and I was planning on marrying this girl in a couple years. She wanted to be with me forever and I too. She was the one who had put the marriage idea in my head a few months ago. But yesterday morning... at 2 a.m. we decided to sleep like usual. we're both 19 and she got off of work at 1:00 in the morning ( works very late at the casino ) and we talked about our days and everything was great. I even gave her an oragami rose I had made her which took 3-4 hours to make... it turned out great and looks amazingly real! But thats not the point.. the point is that she acted kind of funny after the lights were off and we started to cuddle. I asked what was wrong and that she's been acting strange lately... as in just maybe shes a little stressed cause we never see each other since shes working.. or maybe stressed cause shes has school on her days off of work.. But in fact she said that she knows and she cant do this anymore. She said, "i have to go... Im sorry" and I was like, "whats going on? Dont leave, come back! Did I do something wrong?" And she said something like, "no, its me.. I just close off whenever anything sexual or romantic arises" "im sorry, its not you... its me. I dont know whats wrong with me. I Love You, I'm just not IN Love with you. Im sorry..." and I started crying and she said "Im sorry I cant stand to see you hurt, Im leaving, Bye!" And she ran out and drove home. I texted her and she didnt want me to talk to her. She said that she doesnt see us getting married and stuff and she doesnt know if she wants a relationship right now. She feels horrible and she doesnt know whats wrong with her right now. Everyone I know is telling me that she is probably just stressed, but I dont think shes coming back. She said she just needs space so Im giving it to her. But I want to kill myself so bad. Everything reminds me of her. She WAS my LIFE! SHe IS my LIFE! She was who and what I thought about every day, even through times of work and school I'd think about her and plan on surprising her with something or maybe planning a romantic evening. Or even watch a movie or w/e. I just LOVE being with her! Now Everything hurts cause I Want Her so bad and she probably doesn't want me... ugg... shes acting kind of how I did a while back in the relationship and we kind of traded places but I've been through them both and I stayed through it... I had a hard time in the relationship and I fought through it to be with her. Now she is having a hard time and she broke up with me. I don't know if she'll ever come back.. I just want to kill myself tonight.. I dont' want to live through this pain. Its all memories. We've met each others family. ENTIRE family. They considered me a part of theirs.I have her cousins numbers and what not. Shes met my family and damnit, I Love Her So Much... I'll never stop loving her. I know its dumb and typical for me to say there is nobody else for me, but shes who I want to be with and right now shes my world. Shes Everything! I didn't like relationships for this very reason, but this girl was different and I wanted to be with her because I wanted to be with her all of the way... till the end. And I mean the end of life, the end of time. Not the end of the relationship. I want to kill myself... I figure the pain of shooting myself or cutting myself cant be as bad as the pain im feeling now.