You all may know that I lost a friend recently (I posted about it in the "Lost" thread) and now I feel as if nothing is going right. I must admit that I fell off the wagon after four months. Losing John after losing my job and spending Thanksgiving alone was too much. To tell you the truth, getting drunk yesterday made me remember why I'd given up drinking in the first place, so I think my lapse will help strengthen my will to give up drink from this point on. But then I got more bad news today. For the past 19 months, I've been a temp at the IHOP Corporation, bouncing around from department to department. Everyone asked me why I didn't get a permanent job, as if the idea hadn't occurred to me. Well, I finally saw a job at the company that I wanted. So I applied for it. Then my assignment ended two weeks ago and I've been out of work since. Today, I found out that since I'm no longer working at IHOP and the job I applied for is for current employees, I am no longer being considered for it. Basically, they will have to go through all of the internal applications and reject them before they consider mine. Well, I just don't think that's fair after all the time I've spent there. It's bascially a technicality, but they're going to stick to it. I can't tell you how angry I am. So, here I am, sitting in my apartment three weeks before Christmas with little money, getting depressed at the few ads I see online, nobody to talk to and saddened over John's death and I have to tell you that I think I'm going crazy. In the past two days I've sent out only 1 resume. I can't bring myself to sit down and do a serious job search effort because the depression is too thick. I want someone to hug me. I want to cry in someone's arms. I wish someone could help me. Everyine says I'm so smart and talented and yet, I can't get a job. Why is life like this?