a brief history is that i am a female and in my 40s. i am a SAHM (stay at home mom) I have bipolar w an anxiety disorder also am a cutter. I had a hospital stay a few months ago due to suicidal thoughts. things were finally getting better until i was put on a new medication. 5 days later I appear to have lost all sense of reality. two days I can't remember at all. One of those nights i self injured my arm terribly. It was the weirdest thing I have ever gone though. So at this point I am off that med and am beginning to to be more normal. (I couldn't speak clearly or stay awake.) But I am now feeling like I am getting manic. And having non stop suicidal thoughts. Its so overwhelming. I am so exhausted from everything that my body has gone through and my mind won't stop. thanks for listening. btw --- drs appt in 3 days thanks goodness!