why is it that i have so many friends, but almost never invited to birthday parties? how come i am never informed when there's going to be a big party with people i know and hang out with? am i not good enough? i know all of them, i consider them friends! there are people baking cakes for other people for no reason, and what do i get? nothing. all i get on my birthday is one or two people who show up and the rest are busy hanging out with other people. "i can't come to your party, friend who i've hung out with for 5 years, i'm going to jill's house." thanks. i really appreciate you thinking of me. i'm getting dumber. my grades are declining because i'm struggling. I have a C in 2 classes now. i'm missing homework. i've, for some reason, stopped caring. i started crying over a math test. a math test! even my friends that i've most trusted are starting to give me the same strange looks everyone at the school gives me. am i ugly? do i have something in my teeth? why doesn't anyone like me anymore? no one wants to be around me anymore. i just want to graduate (from middle school, mind you) and transfer to a different district so i don't have to put up with this shit. why can't i just end it?