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Falling in love.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by SCUK2009, Oct 4, 2010.

  1. SCUK2009

    SCUK2009 Well-Known Member

    Does anyone ever actually not want it to happen? Do you think it's best to avoid it in case you get hurt?

    I honestly didn't think it could hurt this much, not eating or sleeping, replaying stuff in your head, etc.

    Right now I'd be happy if I never loved another girl again as long as I got over this. What do you lot think? Is it just one of those things you have to go through in life?
  2. Borrowed time*

    Borrowed time* Well-Known Member

    I would like it to happen but if any one shows the slightest bit of interest all i can think of are there motives and it always ends up with me thinking they think im an easy lay just because im fat.
    I personally cant ever see me being in love purely because i cant trust people.
    Its probably not what you want to hear but i think you need to get out and distract yourself. Just have some time doing what you want to do. Love cant be forced. I believe some of the best relationships are of people who werent actually looking for love. They just stumbled across it.
  3. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Right now i am cynical and would say yes, i wish that i never had to go through this kind of pain again and not sure i could live through it again.

    But i guess deep down i know some of my happiest moments were being with the person i loved (past tense there).

    But time eases the pain, you'll find someone new who you won't be able to resist :)
  4. ~Heather~

    ~Heather~ Well-Known Member

    I'm really lucky to have the love I've got now.

    Personally I'm not someone who could live without having a partner. And if my current boyfriend and I don't work out (which I'm pretty confident we'll be fine) I'll take it as he just wasn't the right one. That isn't to say it wouldn't hurt.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is, no matter how much it may hurt to be in love, I personally view loving something even if it hurts you to be one of life's few pleasures.
  5. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Yes but avoiding it doesn't work. I've gone through this twice in my life and both times I was very insecure and frightened; falling in love was dangerous for me and wasn't something I asked for. Right now I'm in a more secure place in my life and starting to accept how I feel....but avoid my feelings to do with someone because of their intensity and what happened with my other relationships.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 5, 2010
  6. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I really doubt it'll ever happen again.
    The first time was a fluke - he was the only guy I ever felt attracted to in the least. Even looking at guys, working with guys who are extremely attractive or highly intelligent or just great, great people, I can't think of them in 'that way'.
    I doubt I'll ever love again.

    If it does happen, I'll ignore it.
    I'm not going to let myself become weak ever again.
    I'll be on my own forever and things will be great just as they are.
    By myself.
    I don't need a fucking 'partner' to make me happy. That was the only mistake I ever made; thinking that things would be better if I was with the one I loved - and they turned out a million times more worse than if I had just stayed away from him and did things on my own.

    I don't want it to happen; I don't think it'll ever happen again and I'm fine with it just like that.
    The whole idea of 'a soul mate' has been shattered a million times over for me.
  7. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Before I actually fell in love, I couldn't wait for it to happen. Thought it'd happen and everything would be rainbows and butterflies, because we'd love eachother. But eh, things don't go that way.. I can't say I've completely learnt from my experiences (getting heart broken, etc.,) as I'm still stupidly, patheticly eager to be close to someone and share my life with them, but I'm definitely a lot more cautious and cynical when it comes to love and the way I view 'potential partners'.

    Despite the pain, the horrible effect it can have on you; it is definitely something worth experiencing, and I say that as someone who has (mostly) gotten over what happened in my previous relationship. Eventually you'll start to feel better and in time you'll come to see things differently.

    I wish you well on getting over your heart-break. :hug:
  8. Daijou

    Daijou Well-Known Member

    The only time I've ever not wanted it to happen, is after losing the person I loved.. or at least felt really strongly for, I'm a little unsure of what actual love is at this point. I think it's a perfectly understandable feeling to never want to let someone that you care so much about, that close ever again. It's a way to prevent the pain that might come to follow if things don't work out as well as planned.

    But if you spend so much time trying to prevent the pain, then you never get to experience the greater parts. And to me, those parts are always worth it, they're what makes love so great. It takes time to get over the pain of losing someone, but look around and ask yourself, how many people do you see with a perfect relationship track record? I for one, don't know anyone that has ever gotten it right on the first go.

    So just give it time, let the wounds heal and try to forget whoever it was that hurt you this bad. Eventually you'll be ready and willing to give love another chance.
  9. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    This pretty much describes my situation to a T :(
  10. SCUK2009

    SCUK2009 Well-Known Member

    That was actually a really good post :)

    Thank you!
  11. Daijou

    Daijou Well-Known Member

    Glad you got something out that. :)
  12. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    Falling in love ins the only thing that keeps me alive. The hope that one day I will find that person that makes me want to be a better man is worth all the pain and misery that I have gone through and will go through in finding her.
  13. Prof.Bruttenholm

    Prof.Bruttenholm Well-Known Member

    I dont see the point in waiting for someone who doesnt exist.
  14. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    I also wish it would never happen again, all love serves is to mess you up...maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow - but some day, it will mess you up, and if ur only together cause your lonely, you will only be more lonely when it ends