Falling...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Midnight-Soul, Feb 4, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Hey there, one of my first posts here and most likely wont be my last. I need help basically, I'm 18, I have a lot of problems, a lot of history, but one of my main issues I need sorting to begin with (if I'm to be successful in getting my life sorted) is motivation.

    I'm in my last year of college before going to university, have final exams in june that I need to get top grades in to even get to uni (which is basically just the beakon at the end of the tunnel, I'm hoping university will be a turning point in my life).

    I go to a selective grammar school in england, which is basically like a private school but seems to just supress creativity and individuality. I used to be top in my year in most subjects, good at sports, good runner and generally good student.
    But since about 3 years ago, I'v just started sliding downhill, school seems so pointless in a way, I really don't want to do what is widely accepted in society (and really don't want to become like my parents who have done nothing with their lives), which is work long and hard in school (wasting the best years of your life) to get a shitty job which your stuck in till you die, working for money so you can survive and surviving just so you can work some more. Hey, maybe I'm just clinging to an unrealistic dream, but to me that's not what life should be about...all the beauty in the world is being wasted away and people are stuck behind desks. But I guess that's only part of my problem, there's my despression too, which is somewhat linked in but separate in it's own way but that's another issue at the moment.

    So back to the point, I'v since focused my attention on a career in film as that is basically the only thing that I can imagine myself enjoying and have applied for those courses at university - after being persuaded that uni is the only way to stand a chance at getting a decent job - thought to be honest I'd rather just get out of the education system altogether and not have to deal with £15-30,000 worth of debt involved in going to uni in the uk. But I'm basically failing this last year at school and the conditions that they've given me for these film related courses are annoyingly high for courses that everyone either laughs at or frowns on. My attendance this year has been about 50-60% and I'v gone from straight A's to C's and D's, I'm just becoming aware that I'm just fucking up my chances of doing something with my life, I know I need to change, the desire's there, but the motivation is not... the best way to describe it is as a solid object at first, then it just drifts apart like smoke carried by the wind and then it's gone... you replace the object again, but it drifts away again... and the result is, nothing gets done.

    It's almost as if I can't make a connection between the end product and the stuff in between anymore. As much as I try... I mean I tried to set a timetable to do at least some work and to sort out my attendance to lessons (which I mostly hate - another reason for my shitty attendance), but I just ignore it, put it off to another day that I know won't come. It's scary because I can almost feel what's coming...I'll fail to get in to uni, drop out of everything basically with no motivation to sort myself out...it seems like that's just around the corner for me. Sorry for the long post, would really appreciate some help and advice on getting back motivation, I know it's a symptom of my depression, but I at least need some quick fix just stop me wasting 14 years of school leaving with nothing at the end of it.

    N hey, because of my insomnia it's once again 5 am, I'm still awake, and I'm meant to have school at 8:30... it's seems like not a lot is going for me atm.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2008
  2. sophie5121

    sophie5121 Well-Known Member

    hey just read your post.. really sorry to hear about your problems :(
    i definetly agree with you about life just being pointless if all your doing is working to suvive and suviving just to work again its so true.

    im just 14 so still in high school so i dont know much about university and all that but i think you should really try hard to get good grades..

    not really sure why im writing you that when im in the kinda same situation as you because i used to be a a* student then i couldn't be bothered with school now im on ds.. but we should really try to work hard :smile:

    anyway if you wanna talk some more pm me :smile:
    sophie x
     
  3. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    Hey. I'm in the same situation as you, for what that's worth. My grades are fucked, I can't get up in the morning, and when I'm there I'm either so tired or drunk that I can't concentrate. All I can say is keep trying to keep up attendance, and do as much of the work as you can.
    You don't have to go to uni if you don't want to. It won't be the end of the world if you don't. Just try to do what you want to do. You could always apply after a gap year, or even later in life if that's what you wanted. Remeber, Richard Branson has NO qualifications and he owns Virgin!
    Don't give up on trying to achieve your best, or on university if that's what you want, and try to remind yourself that work now=better chances later. Good luck with everything, hope you do better than I can.

     
  4. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    I like the way you think. I think you might find these links interesting...:
    http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/07/10-reasons-you-should-never-get-a-job/
    http://www.scribd.com/doc/8778/Why-Intelligent-People-Tend-To-Be-Unhappy
    http://eqi.org/love.htm
    http://www.spring.org.uk/2007/01/why-career-planning-is-time-wasted.php
    http://www.school-survival.net/articles/
     
  5. Daniel

    Daniel Active Member

    Whats happening to you is what happens to most people in our culture which is you are agressively being made to fit a predefined mould. so your instincts that you dont want to live the life you parents want and society wants for you is correct. Follow your inner voice of reason and ignore the chaos outside you it will constantly tell you your not good enough and so you must strive for somthing here or there whatever that may be.

    The problem for me is how to be when your not striving for anything I literally have nothing that motivates me at all I dont know whats going to happen but its at the stage where I can literally stay in a silent room doing nothing because I have no strive for anything. Hopefully somthing will change and an inner direction will motivate me.

    Most of the people who are depressed on this site no matter what the multitude of situations all stems from this. Their lonely they cant get a job their ugly their disabled their poor their stupid its all just the ego playing games with them at anytime they can just stop.
     
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I nearly failed out of school when 'completing' my bachelors degree, and have a masters and doctorate from Ivy...it is not where you start, it's where you finish...stay safe and find something that excites your passion...all other successes will come...J
     
  7. Melmoth the Wanderer

    Melmoth the Wanderer Well-Known Member

    I had the exact same problem during my last year of high school (college): I stopped caring. The year before, I had put a lot of effort into my schoolwork, so perhaps I was a bit burned out. :unsure:

    I'm now at a university, but I have no idea why. I'm actually majoring on something very similar to you: theatre. When I tell people that, they look at me strangely and, trying to hide their disapproval, ask me if I have a back-up plan. I tell them that yes, I do: art. :biggrin:

    I'm glad that you're trying to do what you want to do. It took me a year at uni to stop trying to please people and to admit to myself that I didn't want to be a biology major.

    I'm not sure if I'll stay in school. I find it to be a rather large waste of time, as the lectures don't help me learn anything and the teachers are usually much less competent than the ones in high school.

    Since you know what you want to do already, you could look into more specialized schools than a uni. I'm not sure what's available in the UK, or what you've already considered, so this is just speculation. You may be able to internship somewhere, or find a work-study program that lets you get the experience and the education at the same time.

    And if you ever figure out the motivation thing, let me know what works.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.