Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ouroboros, Oct 29, 2010.

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  1. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    Ibeen trying to keep going and its so hard. I spent half the day crying yesterday and planning ways to die. I knew I wouldn't be able to do at home unless locked door or I sneak out and run away. When I got home I didn't have the energy but cut instead. I haven't done that for 4 years. I was so exhausted yesterday I couldn't fight it. Today I am still thinking some things but am rested and able to exsist but that is all. I am going out tonight for a leaving get together for one of my friends. I don't drink anymore because I used to be dangerous to myself try to kill me and hurt myself when i was drunk. Now I want to drink while I am out tonight, I want to not think and drown. But I don't want to do something stupid tonight that will ruin his leaving thing. I just can't stop thinking abt it though. It won't stop. i'm so tired
  2. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    I give up, no one cares anyway
  3. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    I'm sorry you're hurting such a lot. Are you able to tell us why?
  4. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    I spend everyday hating myself, I hate the way i look and its eating me up, I keep looking in the mirror, why the f*ck can't i stop doing that, I carry one with me all the time.

    Yest I was exhausted long days with not enough sleep, I broke, I been getting worse ad worse for a time now and I'm scared and I donno what to do. I be seeing mental health liason soon, I'm scared of that too, all i think is i want to end everything. I see people iused to know enjoy life, I don't know why I can't be like that, why do i hate myself so much? I don't see the point in life at all, i just don't know hat to do :sad:
  5. KatyKate

    KatyKate Antiquities Friend

    Hannah...you are not alone chick....I hurt too every day..but keep myself alive because I can't hurt those I love or love me...PM me anytime...i understand.

    Love & hugs Kate
    P.S its a lonely & unfair world staying alive for others...but it keeps me here. If I can help..its make my staying worthwhile...you're not alone remember that. :)
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think seeing a professional okay will help talk to them about your increase suicidal thoughts. Maybe try a new medication newer ones out there are better. Ihope you can stay safe and get therapy to increase you own self esteem some Try to get help soon okay while your thought are still someone clear.:hugtackles::hugtackles:
  7. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    Thanks for replies, it really mean alot to get nice replies, I am due to go out soon. I am feeling very unstable and donno whats going to happen. Just really nervous, feel on edge and bad thoughts constant at the moment, I need to keep it together, I donno if I can.. I don't have a plan, thoughts just involve getting real drunk and then I know i can do something coz i won't be afraid, I done so before, but I know I shouldn't, and its risky coz I could just be really hurt, or hurt someone else... I don't want to be this way, I feel so stupid that I am stuck like this, I know I am the one who needs to change the thoughts, but how the f*ck do you do that?! :sad:
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    with therapy with meds with help yu change the thoughts okay Alcohol don't use it okay it is what took my bro life today 2 years ago he drank then od and he didn't make it that time please don't do that get help okay please
  9. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Please dont drink tonight, you already know the outcome if you do. Hold strong and hope tomorrow brings some sunshine. Have fun and be happy that you have friends that want to hang out and have fun with you.
  10. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Also please let us know how it went...PM me if I can be there for you...J
  11. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    Just come back, I hav had drink, not too much, i was with my bf he knows probs. I just felt self concious the whole time, and that jusr thought I will have to kill myself, everytime I stopped to think it came to that, I don't see how to get better, I don't see anything good ahead right now..
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